


Make Yourself At Home Inside My Soul

by Wealthywetsunny



Category: Far Cry 3, Far Cry 5
Genre: Captive/Captor Relationship, Captivity, Changes between past and present, Dubious Consent, F/M, Human Trafficking, Kidnapped, Lima Syndrome, Rape/Non-con Elements, Stockholm Syndrome, Torture, caged, slight canon deviations, tied up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:20:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26062573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wealthywetsunny/pseuds/Wealthywetsunny
Summary: Once upon a time Kai met a man who owned an entire island. He called himself Vaas and she learned to hate him.Six years later, she meets a man who owns a small chunk of Hope County, Montana who calls himself John. She learns to hate the way he digs up her past and forces himself inside her head alongside the man of her past.Jealousy is a terrible thing.
Relationships: John Seed/Original Character(s), Vaas Montenegro/Original Character(s)
Comments: 39
Kudos: 102





	1. It’s Just the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Necklace](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21568270) by [MadQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadQueen/pseuds/MadQueen). 



“Should I keep you? Hm? What do you think, really I’d love to know seeing as you can’t keep your fucking mouth shut. What should I do with you?”

It’s a dangerous question solely meant to trip her up. It’d be easier to answer him if she had spoken to him more than once, if they had some sort of conversation out of the one sided dialogue he kept going when she first woke up with her hands bound and tied above her head. 

Right now, it’s like trying to navigate a minefield. 

She doesn’t know what he wants to hear. She doesn’t know what he wants, period. Making this all the more difficult. And so she’s quiet, painfully so. He takes her silence as some sort of disrespect or insubordination. Whatever the case, he doesn’t like it. 

“Hey! I asked you—“ he stands and kicks the cage, makes the whole thing shake “a _fucking_ question!” 

Kai bobs her head dumbly, mouth dry as she opens her mouth to speak. It had been easy throwing words around to his guards, but him? The one who's so obviously in charge here? She has to choose her words carefully. 

“What do you mean by keep me?” 

He glares at her, fingers twitching by his sides. “No, no, no hermana, why are you Americans always so rude?” He pulls a gun out from the waistband of his pants, waving it around as he talks. “You don’t answer a question with a question.” 

He moves closer to her, forcing her to crane her neck off to the right. He crouches down, close enough that she’s able to count the colors in his eyes. Such pretty eyes wasted on such a crazy man. Shame. 

He whistles sharply, snapping his fingers in her face. “I can make my own choice here, but I’m asking you.” He laughs sharply, lips twisting into a manic smile. “I want to hear you talk, my men have had a lot to say about you. But now here you are, quiet as a mouse. And that’s getting my nerves.” 

Kai holds back a snort, she doubts he’ll take into account what she says. But she’s seen him hurt people before, shoot them right between the eyes for seemingly no reason. She doesn’t need to anger him. 

And so she swallows, gathers up the rest of her courage and forces herself to answer him. 

“I’d rather not be _sold.”_ She phrases it carefully, dipping her head as she stares at him. “That’s where everyone else has gone…”

“So you’ve noticed that? Smart, real smart, hermana.” He plops down on his knees, reaching out to tap her temple with the barrel of his gun. 

It’s enough to make her flinch. 

He laughs at her. An almost fond look on his face just from her fear alone. 

“You know I’d get a lot of money for a snow bunny like you.” Another whistle, one that draws a few cat calls from his men. “You’re young too, that always helps. Not selling you would be a mistake.” 

Anger wells up inside her, bubbling red and hot as she stares at this man who stole her life away and acts with no remorse. She really does try to stop herself, but anger is a strong drug, and it takes over. Floods her brain as she strains against the ropes holding her and bites her words out. 

“Then why the fuck did you ask me?!” 

“Hey! Language! Who the **_fuck_** do you think you’re talking to?” He gets to his feet again, throwing another kick that has her teeth rattling. “Do you realize that you aren’t in charge anymore, you don’t have any fucking power here, this is my island!” He jabs a finger into his chest. “It’s. Mine. Get that through your pretty little head, puta.” 

Kai shakes with equal amounts fear and anger. Though in the end she sags back and averts her eyes. She takes the blow to her pride if it means living to see another day. 

“If it’s yours,” she whispers, pausing long enough for him to stop her if he really didn’t want to hear her talk, “then what’s your name?”

She wants to know. She needs to know who she’s going to murder when she finally gets the chance. 

He smiles at her, regarding her like they’re friends. As if he hadn’t snapped moments before. 

“Vaas Montenegro.” 

His accent makes his name sound exotic, pretty like his green eyes. It doesn’t suit him at all. She’ll remember it though, long after he disappears into the night and she’s left alone with nothing by the swarming flies for company. 

*****

“You must’ve been through a lot, huh? You’ve hardly made a peep, most people at least beg.” John shrugs, “that might just be your pride though. I dunno, yet.” 

Kai hates this man. She hates the way he tries to psychoanalyze her and peer into her soul. He doesn’t have any place there. That’s private. 

Not like he seems to care. 

“What should we use next? C’mon, I’ll let you pick.” John places his toolbox on a metal tray and rolls it over to her. He crouches down, staring at her over the lip of the tray as he gives her a crooked smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. 

“Well? Go ahead? Pick, my dear.” 

She pulls her gaze away from his eyes (and how she’s grown to hate those blue, intuitive eyes) and onto the tray full of weapons. Most of them are stained with blood, rusty and old. Probably crawling with disease. 

She sighs, it’s nothing she hasn’t been through before. Her immune system has been put through the works, a little tetanus won’t kill her. 

“How about that one.” She jerks her head towards the pliers, curious to see how he’d use that one. At least that’s what she tells herself. Mayb, deep down, she was really just wanting a reminder of her past. That’s what her therapist would say if he were here. He’d tell her that she has to let go, that she can’t surround herself with memories of Rook islands. That’s what she’s doing right now though, forcing John’s hand to pick up those pliers and use them on her just so she can get a thrill. 

She’s sick. She has been ever since Vaas. 

John hums appreciatively, actually listening to her as he picks up what she chose and pushes the tray away from them. 

“I suggest you try and stay still for this.” He moves into her personal space, practically straddles her lap as he grabs her jaw and forces her head back. It’s when he pries open her mouth that she realizes what he’s going to do. 

She’s been through this before. 

He realizes that as he searches for a tooth and stops. “You’re missing quite a few teeth. I bet there’s a story behind that.” John rubs her cheek sweetly, “we can start there. Something easy.”

Kai snorts. Easy...if only he knew. 

He steps back, tapping the pliers on her jaw playfully as her lips lock back up. “No? Alright, then how about this?” He touches the green necklace around her throat with his finger. Brushing across it reverently. 

“It’s just a piece of jewelry, surely it won’t be too much trouble to give me something about this.” 

“What happened to pulling my teeth?” 

John’s lip curls into a smile. “You’ve hardly got any left, my dear. If I take anymore I don’t think you’d be able to eat properly. Now that necklace. Who gave it to you?” 

Kai flinches involuntarily. Chin tucked close to her chest as she clenches her fists, pulling against the ropes as if by some miracle John would’ve messed up the knots just this once. 

There’s pressure behind her eyes, a terrible pulse that’s in time with her heart as she considers his question and fights back tears. 

It shouldn’t be this hard. It’s just a name. Two words. And to John it’d be nothing. No memories to go along with it, not even a picture. But she hasn’t said his name since she last spoke to him. That was, what? Six years ago? 

“A name, darling, that’s all I want.” 

She bites her tongue until she tastes blood. “Vaas Montenegro.” Her accent isn’t as strong as his, but she thinks he’d approve if he were here. That’s enough to set her heart at ease. 


	2. Hollywood

There’s a commotion going on and she can’t for the life of her figure out what’s happening. The constant stream of gunshots does little to soothe her anxiety. It could be nothing, the crackle of bullets (reminding her of fireworks if she pretends hard enough) is a sound she’s gotten used to. But the energy within the camp, surging through Vaas’ men—pirates, that’s what the man across from her, equally as trapped, had called them—are buzzing with excitement. 

She’d be more worried if things were quiet. Quiet usually means a group of men, usually men though sometimes they have the occasional woman, coming around to check out the merchandise. It means someone being pulled away kicking and screaming, begging for help while everyone cowers. She prefers the noise. 

Kai cranes her neck around just in time to see a new set of people being dragged in. All this ruckus for them? 

Strange, considering the amount of stragglers being brought in almost weekly. It makes sense, what with the time of year and all, the perfect season for an island vacation. At least that was her excuse. 

She wonders what theirs is. If they’re somebody important. They have to be if they’re already causing such excitement. 

Vaas is leading the pack, his arm slung around a man’s neck as he waves away the rest of the group to be put in cages like the rest of them. This new stranger has got to be only a few years older than her, but he looks terrified. She can’t judge though, she cried for hours the first day she was here. 

“Hey! Everyone listen up.” Despite how loud Vaas yells, screaming until his vocal cords must hurt, he has a grin on his face, looking so damned pleased with himself. “Come on, people, gather around!” Vaas shoves the man forward carelessly. “We’ve got a fucking movie star with us.” He claps his hand together, rallying the crowd. 

There are laughs and whooping calls among the pirates. Kai can’t figure out why. What the hell is an actor worth? Especially one she can’t even recognize. He isn’t Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp, that’s for sure. 

“He should get the royal treatment, huh, boys? Maybe we can even shoot our own little film.” 

_Oh_. Oh she doesn’t like his tone of voice at all. It’s deceptively playful, and she’s sure his unwanted friend hanging off his arm knows that as well. He’s got a look of fear about him that comes from experience. She wonders how long Vaas has been carting around him and his friends. How many horrors has he seen? 

“Hey, cabrones, go get a tripod, the one in the shed I made last month. We’re gonna show the world where...uh,” Vaas tapers off, giving the man a squeeze, “what’s your name again?” 

He mumbles something, eyes darting around nervously. Mostly looking off towards where his friends had gone. Bad move, showing your weakness like that. 

“Chris! That’s it! We’re gonna give the world a new feature film starring Chris over here!”

Kai has a terrible feeling he won’t last very long around here.

Vaas tugs Chris along, walking through the camp with a slight frown. And now that he’s closer, not by much but now she can hear him without him screaming, she notices something. Blood. A streak of it going across his forehead and along the bridge of his nose. 

Vaas doesn’t seem to care that he’s dirty. Or he doesn’t notice. Both are a possibility. “We need a cameraman. Whatever happened to your cameraman, Chris?

“You shot him.” 

“ _That_ was your cameraman? Never would have guessed. He didn’t look the part, you know?”

Chris’ brows furrow. Kai can feel his confusion from miles away. 

“Well, yeah, that’s why he was holding a camera.”

Vaas nods, as if he isn’t quite listening to what Chris has to say. “Then we need to find someone new. Fucker can hardly walk.” 

One of Vaas’ run up hand off a rickety, wooden tripod to him. Vaas smiles, absolutely delighted as he holds it up above his head like a staff. Or a trident. Or even a pitchfork. Definitely something that could kill someone. 

“Now,” he uses the tripod like a pointing stick, aiming it at his men where they still linger in front of him, “which one of these idiots has some experience with a camera?”

_No._

_No, no, no. Please, don’t look at me. Don’t notice me._

Kai closes her eyes tight and drags her knees up to her chest. She turns her head away, tries to hide the panic on her face. She knows that some of these pirates _know her._ They had made fun of her, said maybe if she was more than a tourist with a camera, more than a film student with an art major, then just maybe someone would pay her ransom. 

They know. 

“Hermana, why’re you hiding?” Vaas is standing in front of her cage, he’s got this smile on his face, so bright and authuthetic, it even reaches his eyes. “I’m starting to get sick of that miserable face. Look happy for me, smile.”

She doesn’t. She can’t manage it right now. 

**_“I said smile!”_ ** He bangs his hands on the bars of the cage. Making her jump. She lifts her head to stare at him, holding back the tears threatening to drop. “That’s better. Very beautiful, hermana, you should smile more often. Now come on, we have a movie to shoot.” 

Vaas’ movie is the worst kind, the kind filled with torture and fucked up mind games meant to keep everyone on their toes. And she has to be privy to it. 

Burying a man in sand up to his head, surprisingly she can deal with that. Pulling his teeth with a pair of pliers, that’s enough to make her hands shake. 

She lets go of the camera and takes a step back. For the first time wondering why the hell Vaas needed her at all. The camera’s on a tripod, they’re both in frame. What’s he trying to prove? 

Vaas barely spares her a glance as he crouches over and shows off the bloody tooth to the camera. He turns it over in his hands, clicking his tongue. “You haven’t been flossing, huh, Chris?” He gives a little shake of his head, as if he’s actually disappointed. 

She’ll give him that, he’s good at being crazy. He’s not acting though. This is just him. 

It’s when Vaas puts the glass bowl over Chris’ head that she looks away. She has an awful knot in her stomach, a terrible feeling that Chris is going to die. He won’t get much air like that, and Vaas doesn’t look too concerned. He’s an idiot then, a stupid fucking pirate lord who is going to be very upset when he realizes his play thing has gone and died on him. 

Oh god, she can’t watch this. 

Vaas doesn’t pay her dry heaving much mind. He just keeps on talking as he sits between Chris’ head. 

_“_ Don’t move. Open your mouth. Yeah, don’t move, okay?” I don’t want you to hurt yourself.” 

And on and on like that. Encouraging Chris through the whole thing as the bowl filled with literal tarantulas makes their way across his face. 

She’ll have to apologize later. She’ll pray to God and ask for forgiveness as she takes her chance and dashes off into the jungle, leaving Chris to fend for himself. 

“Hey! Where the fuck are you going?! Hermana, we need you for this fucking film!”

Kai’s heart stutters and she almost trips over a rock. He _had_ been paying attention to her. Shit. 

She’s crazy for running, she realizes this now as she hears him tear off after her through the brush. She has to stop herself from breaking down, even if everything inside her says to just fall down and give up. To kneel down at his feet and put her hands up, to beg for _his_ forgiveness like he’s her god. 

He’s going to kill her, she knows he will. Surely she can’t be worth all this trouble.

Kai screams as a bullet embeds itself in the dirt by her feet. She dips her head down, focuses solely on the way her feet move rapidly to escape. Another bullet rings out, scaring the birds. That one had been closer, and the sheer terror of having been hit and just not knowing it yet makes her fall on her knees. She scrambles to get back up. Using a tree to launch herself forward. 

“Stop _fucking_ moving so much!!” 

The anger in his voice is enough to make her hyperventilate. She wants to stop, to at least catch her breath before she passes out. It’s that moment of indecision, just a heartbeats worth, that costs her all the freedom in the world. 

Vaas practically throws himself at her. Using the momentum of his run to spin her around and collide his fist with her jaw. Her head snaps to the side as she crumples on the ground. The next punch lands square in her face and she hears what can only be her nose crack. 

He drops down in the dirt with her, keeping her in place with strong hands on her shoulders as he goes to straddle her to keep her from getting away. 

He hovers over her, mere inches away. Breathing sickly warm on her skin. He smells of gunpowder and tobacco. The smell makes her gag. 

“Look what you made me do. Fuck!” He pulls back with a snarl, tossing up his hand. “How am I supposed to sell you now? No one wants to look at that.” He touches her nose none too lightly. She winces, it’s broken, yeah, probably crooked too.

Vaas groans, running a hand over his face. “Stupid. Fucking stupid pendejo.” He glares down at her as she cowers, tears dripping from her face as she whimpers. “ ** _Shut up!_ ** I’m trying to fucking think here.” 

He sits back on her thighs, hands playing with the hem of her dirty shirt. “Hoyt is going to kill me.” 

“W-Who?”

“My jefe. My boss, the one who tracks our sales.” He twists his lips and she gets this awful feeling that he wouldn’t have been so forthcoming if he wasn’t planning on killing her right now. But he doesn’t reach for his gun, instead he lifts his hand to tug at his necklace. A nervous tic maybe. “You know what, I think since this is your fault. You’ll be the one to explain this shit.”

“No.” Kai whispers it. Too soft for Vaas to hear as he stands up and pulls her with him. She struggles against him, but his muscles aren’t for show. He knows what he’s doing. He’s probably fought people bigger and badder than her. 

Still she tries, she digs her heels into the dirt and says it again. “No. No, I don’t want to.” She hates how weak she sounds, never in her life has she been reduced to begging, but now here she is. 

“I don’t fucking care.” 

“I’ll do anything, please. Hoyt will kill me.”

Vaas shrugs, “he might.”

“You can tell him I escaped.” 

Vaas is quiet. He doesn’t even bother glancing at her as she shoves her ahead of him and keeps her moving with a hand on the small of her back. 

But now that she got it in her head she can’t get it out. They can work together on this if she plays her cards right. 

“Just say I ran when you tried to sell me. That one of your men shot me and I’m dead. Then his money is gone and you’re not in trouble—“

“Do you not have a rock where your brain should be? How the hell would that get me off the hook?”

Kai doesn’t have an answer for him. “Can’t you buy me instead? Or someone on this island who won't care about my broken nose? Hoyt would still get his money.” 

Vaas turns sharply, shoving her back roughly against a nearby tree. “Clever girl,” he coos, so close to her ear that she flinches. He notices and chuckles, leaning in closer. The blood has been long since washed off, but she still can’t help but stare at the phantom impression it’s made in her mind. 

He gives her a crazed smile and sticks out his tongue, licking a strip across her cheek. Tasting her like a dog. She makes a startled noise, glaring at him through her lashes. 

“Have you ever seen that movie? Jurassic Park? ‘ _Clever Girl?’”_ He waits a beat, as if she might actually answer. She thinks she’ll get away with being quiet, but Vaas isn’t a man who likes being ignored, she’s realizing that now. 

He grabs her shoulders and pulls her into him, against his chest, before shoving her roughly back into the tree. Her head slams against the bark, has her gasping and cringing away. 

“I just called you clever, hermana. I gave you a goddamn compliment, Christ.” He laughs, rubbing his scarce amount of facial hair. “You know, I always thought you American fucks couldn’t keep your mouths shut. But you’re like a little church mouse. You can’t stop fucking trembling.” He squeezes her shoulders roughly. “Answer my question. Don’t _fucking_ ignore me.”

She swallows, hesitantly reaching up to hold his wrists where they’re still grappling her shoulders. 

“Yes. I’ve seen it.” Kai keeps careful track of his expression as she speaks next. She keeps her voice light. Hopes that he’s as stupid as she first assumed. 

“You must get bored here. On this island,” she starts nervously, holding his eyes, “that’s why you played with Chris. Because you don’t get much excitement. Same old shit, same old job.”

“You’re stalling,” he sings. Mock glee coating his words. 

She winces, nods quickly and continues her plea. “I can spice things up, y’know? Haven’t you ever wanted to own someone like the men who are buying your...uh, merchandise?” 

He tips his head at her. Raising an eyebrow, it draws her gaze to the scar that cuts across his face. She tries not to stare for too long. She doesn’t know if that’s enough to make him snap. 

“I’ve had slaves before,” he says idly. “Little cachorros.” There’s a double meaning behind his words. She can read between the lines well enough. 

_You’re nothing. You’re not special. Why should I choose you?_

She can’t answer that. But she keeps talking anyway. She has to at least try, she can’t have him walk her to her death. 

“When’s the last time you’ve had a slave?” The word makes her tongue sting. Has bile rise in her throat that she forces herself to swallow down. 

“I see where you’re going with this. Do you think I’m fucking dumb?!” He pulls out his gun and drags it along her forehead. Down over the bridge of her nose and traces it over her lips. 

Kai closes her eyes, says a silent prayer, and opens up, leaning forward slightly to suck on the barrel. 

“Oh, look at that.” He laughs. There’s a gleeful undertone to it. A thrumming excitement she hasn’t heard from

him before. “Does this get you wet between your legs, hermana? Do you like when I chase you, do you like the thrill of the fight? Therems something _so_ fucking wrong with you.” He smiles at her and shrugs. “Whatever gets your pussy wet.” 

Kai shivers upon hearing his dirty words, holding back tears as he yanks the gun from her mouth and tells her to open her eyes. This time she obeys. Shows him that she can listen, that she’ll make this worth his while. 

“Hoyt will still have to know about this,” he taps her broken nose with his gun. “Hiding things from that bastard is a fucking mistake.” Vaas laughs, tucking his gun away to bracket her in with his arms. He’s closer like that and she hates it. He _knows_ she hates it. Asshole. 

She gives him a falsely sweet smile. Remembers the bravery she felt when she was talking to one of his pirates and _not him,_ and asks “how do you say ‘asshole’ in Spanish?” 

“Oh-ho, there she is!” He brings up a hand to tap her cheek affectionately. “That’s what my men were complaining about. If you’re not careful I’ll cut your tongue out.” He has a funny little smile on, but it’s not kind. He’s being serious. He’s probably done it before. 

She grits her teeth together, pushes past her fear, which is easy when he’s looking at her like that, and asks “well then what should I call you?” 

“Besides asshole?”

She nods. 

“Do you know Spanish, hermana?” 

Kai shakes her head. She doesn’t. Not in the slightest. She stuck with French and later to Italian. Glad to see that’s helping her now.

“I’ll teach you.” He tugs her away from the tree, tucking her under his arm to speak in her ear with faux kindness. “Here, repeat after me.” 

Her hands go to splay on his stomach, ready to push herself away if she needs to. Under her fingers she feels his muscles flex and she suddenly feels sick. She doesn’t stand a chance against him. 

“Ready? Hm? Something easy: how about _te amo._ Ooh, or maybe _tu hago yo mojada, Vaas._ I can work with either.”

Her eyes narrow, not trusting his flowery language for a second. So instead she spits in his face and drives a knee into his balls. 


	3. Lovely Reminders

It’s surprising how a man as large as Vaas can go down like a bag of rocks when hit in the right place. He’s on his knees in an instant, groaning as he digs one hand into the sand while the other cups over his crotch.

“Oh señorita, you must think you’re hot shit right now.” His breathing is ragged, all shaky as he sweats bullets. The power she has over him feels amazing, the fact that she’s able to reduce him to nothing. 

The moment is short lived. 

“I let you man my camera, I was so _goddamn_ _nice to you_. What the fuck?!” 

He’s glaring at her like he’s considering just how many ways he can make her life a living hell. Kai doesn’t know what to say to make this better. She knows what she  _ wants  _ to say, how she desperately yearns to let go and stop caring about self preservation if it means she can get one last word in. 

Vaas stands on shaky legs and takes a step forward, teeth gritted from pain, and she takes two steps back. 

“Come on then. You think you’re so fierce. Fight me.”

“No—“

“No? You think you can say no after fucking me up for no  _ fucking _ reason?” His arm goes to cradle his stomach. “Hermana, if you wanted some excitement then you should’ve just said so. C’mon, you’re going to show me how tough you really are, you little American shit.” 

Kai narrows her eyes at him, fingers tightening into fists. She’s never thrown a punch before, but suddenly the idea seems oddly appealing. It’s the adrenaline that ultimately drives her forward, that and a good dose of rage. 

She nearly hits him. She  _ was _ so close. 

He’s faster than she anticipates though and he grabs her wrist like it’s nothing. He shoves her away, baring his teeth in an excited grin. They circle each other for a few seconds like boxers in a ring. He’s half bent over, waiting for her to pounce first. 

She does so just as recklessly as before. She charges him as if she’s a wild tiger, yelling out something akin to a war cry as she raises her arm back to scratch his eyes out. 

He dodges her again, this time grabbing onto her hips and spinning her around until their chests bump together. 

He glowers down at her, holding onto her biceps to keep her in place. “You should see the look in your eyes. So angry! What’s wrong, chica?” 

It’s a rhetorical question, but still her lip curls in disgust.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He grabs her wrist once more and twists it at an awkward angle and something snaps. Her fingers get crushed between his own. She screams, trying to shake him off, but he holds onto her tighter until she falls to the ground. 

Her instincts kick in as she quite literally kicks out at him with her legs. Hoping to bring him down as well. She just barely grazes his ankle, doing nothing more than scuffing his pants. 

“I hate you!” She yells, scrambling back when he lunges out and falls down in the dirt in front of her. 

He holds her ankles together, keeping her still. 

“We’re so alike. You and I. That look in your eyes,” he groans low in his throat, “it’s beautiful, hermana. Really it’s quite the sight to behold. How could I have not noticed that about you?” 

He reaches out to grab at her wrist, yanking her in closer as he crosses his legs. The picture of casual grace. “I thought,” he goes, to tip her head up with his finger, “let me tell you what I thought, I said to myself, ‘Vaas, this one won’t make it. I’ve seen her type before. Just another body for the pit. But now I see you.” He leans over her, finally letting go of her ankle to hold out his hand like he wants to touch her cheek. For now it just hovers there. “And I mean really  _ see _ you. You take whatever the world throws at you and you adapt.”

Kai forgets her survival instincts for just a moment and shakes her head. “We’re nothing alike. You kill people. You sell them. You’re a monster!” 

“Quiet!” He snaps. Breathing hard through his nose like a bull. “You’re strong, no?” He pushes the idea, feeds those words into her head, tries to tell her how wonderful she is. But all she can see is a madman who is beyond broken.

He pats her cheek, “right? Aren’t you strong?” 

“I dunno.”

“Well I do. That’s why you’re not dead yet.” He tips his head to the side, considering, “and because of me. I decide whether or not people live on my island. You should be thanking me.”

She stares at him. Eyes bouncing between the hand on her wrist and his face. 

“I fucking said thank me! You’re so ungrateful. I’ve kept you alive, so what do you say?” 

She swallows, opens her mouth to respond, but it’s too slow for him. He beats her to it. 

“Say ‘thank you, Vaas. Thank you for not killing me. Thank you for giving me your food and water so I don’t die a terrible death. Thank you for making sure I don’t get raped, Vaas.’ Just like that, c’mon. I want to hear it.”

“T-thank you—“

“No, no, with passion! There’s a fire inside you. I’ve seen it. It lights you up inside.” He closes the rest of the distance between them and cups her cheek. His nails bite into her skin, and it  _ hurts _ . “Now say it.”

“Thank you for keeping me alive, and for the food and water. Thanks for...for keeping your men away from me.”

“That wasn’t so difícil, was it?” 

“No…” 

He seems pleased with her performance. As half assed and terrified as it all came out. He even helps her stand.

Vaas puts her back in her cage after that. Murmuring soft words that she tries to block out. He grabs her jaw to force their eyes together. 

“I wonder how much more you’d be able to take. Girls always break so easy, it’s never fun. But you?” He waggles his finger at her, and it’s just now that she notices the bandages wrapped around them. “I’ve got a good feeling about you.”

He ties her arms above her head just like before. He touches her busted fingers gingerly. Moving down to her bruised wrist. It’s shockingly gentle, as he clicks his tongue and tells her “we’ll have to get this looked at. Real bad to leave it like this. Then it’ll get infected and we’ll have to cut it off. That’s when the maggots will get to it.”

He gives her injured hand a final squeeze before walking off. She tries to ask him what’s going to happen to Chris, after all, they left him with a bowl over his head in the sweltering heat.

Vaas tells her to shut up. 

She heeds that particular advice. She’s done poking that particular bear. Especially after he showed her a man buried up to his neck in the sand and tortured for entertainment. 

She doesn’t fuck with his pirates anymore either. They’re a bunch of snitches who got her more of Vaas’ attention than she ever desired. So she ignores them. She keeps her head down and waits for whatever is bound to come next. 

Days go by and Kia doesn’t see Vaas for the longest time. It’s a blessing. And she figures that just maybe Vaas had been trying to teach her a lesson to keep her mouth shut. Her sudden silence seems to catch the attention of someone else. A man named Mateo. 

He’s a dick. 

He pokes and prods at her with his words. Tries to get some sort of response from her. She doubts he’s one of the pirates who complained about her snarky comments. In fact he seems to miss her sass. 

When he does speak to her it’s mostly in Spanish. She doesn’t tell him that she can’t understand, there’d be no point in hearing what he has to say. Besides, she gets the overall gist. His comments are lewd, she can tell by the way his friends laugh and look over her body. 

It’s one of those blistering hot days when Mateo starts up again. He’s leaning on the bars of the cage and bending down to touch her. He brushes his fingers against her exposed calf, saying something she can’t make out. 

Kai sees Vaas before Mateo does. It’s almost as if he appears out of nowhere, stomping across the camp like a man on a mission. 

He’s headed straight for them. 

“Hermano! Step back, yeah?” 

Mateo either doesn’t realize Vaas is talking to him, or he has a death wish, because he stays right where he is. 

“None of you bastards ever fucking listen.” Vaas is close enough now to grab the back of Mateo’s shirt, he hauls him to his feet and shoves him away. 

“You see this niña? This little girl right here? She’s mine. I own everything on this island and that includes the people in these cages.” Vaas tears his eyes away from Mateo and towards the pirates scattered around who are watching Vaas lose his shit. “You hear that motherfuckers?! No one touches the merchandise unless I say so!” 

Mateo is stumbling over his words, raising placating hands to keep Vaas calm. As if he’s nothing more than a rabid dog. Which is fair. Sometimes he gets this crazy look in his eyes akin to an animal. 

Vaas, surprisingly, lets Mateo leave. Though maybe that’s because he’s now more focused on her. “I have news, hermana, wonderful news.”

“For who?”

He snorts, looking offended and annoyed all at once. “‘For who?’” He mimes, “who do you think? For you.” He goes to stand beside her, crouching down so they’re eye level. “Hoyt’s letting you live. Despite your fucked up nose.”

“It's fucked up because you broke it!”

“Shut up! Shut the fuck up, didn’t your mother ever teach you it’s rude to interrupt?” 

Kai bites her lip. Shows him that she gets it. That’s enough for him to continue, talking as if he didn’t blow up at all. 

“You’re gonna stay here a little bit while that thing heals. And I get to keep you. Hoyt allows us some creature comforts so long as it doesn’t affect business  _ too  _ much. Once he promised me all the cocaine and pussy in the world. He said whatever makes me happy. And having you for even just a little while would make me very happy.” 

“Why?” She asks the question but she feels like she already knows the answer. 

“Because you’re just like me, and I’ve never seen that before. It gave me fucking goosebumps.” 

He stands up, swinging open the cage and reaching over to cut her wrists free. “Come on, come, I have a surprise for you.”

He grabs hold of her bicep, digging his nails in until tiny marks form on her skin. She doesn’t squirm or jump out of the way. She’s at his mercy now. She’s only alive because he’s bored. 

Maybe Hoyt has something to do with that too, but Vaas seems like the type of dog to break his leash every once in a while. She wouldn’t put it past him to fuck her up despite what his supposed boss says. 

He leads her halfway across the camp before they stop at a small shack. And what a relief it is to finally be inside away from prying eyes. The entire walk was filled with pirates whistling and staring. And despite Vaas claiming that everyone on this island was his, he doesn’t put a stop to the catcalling.

Nor does she complain. He hates when people complain. 

“Huh? What do you think, hermana?” He spins in a circle with his arms spread wide. “Pretty nice, eh?” 

Kai manages a hesitant “yeah.” Even if his home looks like it’s falling apart. “Is this the surprise?” 

“What? No, of course not.” He snorts and shakes his head. Brushing by her to open up a cabinet. He’s bent at the waist, half his head jammed inside as roots around for something. 

She’s shaking, she realizes, when he stands back up and brandishes a knife. 

“What would it take to see that fire come back in your eyes for good?” 

Kai feels her knees click together, fear making her shake apart. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You do,” he insists. He sweeps his eyes over her and groans. “You need to stop that.” He gestures down the length of her body with the knife. “This sniveling and crying bullshit. It’s driving me up a wall.”

She swallows, eyeing the knife held loosely in his grasp. “Sorry.” She sees his smile fall and she’s quick to continue. “I don’t know. I’m not sure what would work.” To be honest she doesn’t know what he’s talking about in the first place, but it’s good to play along. If he wants someone to relate to, fine, she can give him that. 

“When I looked into your eyes earlier, I saw my reflection. I’m inside you. Now we need to bring that to the surface, yeah? You need a little reminder! Come here.” He yanks at a little wooden stool tucked beneath a table and pats it invitingly. 

She forces herself to move. Digs her nails into her palms to keep herself calm as she sits down. It’s nerve racking, having him behind her. Somewhere she can’t see. 

“Good girl. Now sit still.” 

_ Wait.  _

_ What?  _

He lifts the back of her shirt slightly, and soon enough she feels the press of a sharp blade. She can’t help it, she scrambles off the stool and whirls around to face him. 

Vaas doesn’t look angry, instead his lips are pursed and he’s just staring at her. Waiting for her to explain maybe. 

“Vaas…What are you doing?”

“I’m going to put my name on your skin. Let the whole world know who you are.” 

“Wha—why?!” Her voice raises an octave, making her sound like she’s yelling. She kind of is. 

He laughs, excited. “See! There is it! I like that! I want it to be permanent.”

Kai shakes her head, “you can’t. I’m not yours, right? This whole thing is temporary until my nose heals.” 

Vaas can’t disagree with her on that. But that doesn’t stop him from looking disappointed. He sighs, all dramatic and drawn out. He tosses the knife away on a nearby table. 

He groans, head tipping back towards the ceiling. “You’ve got me there. Mierda.” He turns his head around, looking for something. He hums low in his throat before he makes a soft “ah!,” and grabs the necklace around his throat. “This! Here, take this, wear it.”

He holds the green trinket out to her. Watching her expectantly as she walks forward to grab it. She clears her throat uncomfortably. “What’s this going to do?”

“It’s a reminder.”

“For what?” She grits out. Her hold tightening on the string of his necklace just as he lets it go. 

“A reminder that you hate me, that you’ll kill me.” He chuckles at her wide eyed expression. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? You’ll take this, you’ll wear it, and it’ll remind you every single moment of your life that you hate me. And with that hate will come your strength. Your fire.” 

All she can manage is a small “oh.” It’s enough for Vaas. Because he rushes forward with a smile to take the necklace from her hand and loop it around her neck. 

*****

John reaches out to fiddle with her necklace and she hates every second of it. She bares her teeth at him, snaps at his fingers when they dare to creep up onto her cheek.

He just laughs. “Were you always this mean or am I just special?” 

Kai shrugs, hoping the movement is enough to shake his dirty fingers off her face. It’s not. “It’s just who I am. I’ve always been like this. Broken and mean.  _ Wrathful _ .” She draws the sin out just for him. She’s seen the tattoos on his knuckles, heard his inane ramblings that have long since driven her mad. 

He smiles, “I know how that feels.” He tosses the pliers back on the tray. That idea long gone now that she’s given up a part of herself. “To be ruined far beyond belief until no one really wants you.”

She scoffs. How dare he compare them? They hardly know each other outside of this moment right now. “Who the fuck ever said no one wanted me?”

“Oh, did I strike a nerve, Kai?” 

She flinches when he says her name. He notices. Nothing ever escapes his watch. 

“Another one? Really, are you that easy to rattle? There must be something truly demented about your past.” He pauses to go and grab a chair. It’s more comfortable than her own. Cushioned and not stained with blood. 

“Did Vaas want you?”

“Yes.” No hesitation. She can almost believe it herself. 

“Does he  _ still _ want you? Is that why you’re here and he’s whenever the fuck he is?”

She doesn’t expect such foul language from man who holds God close to his heart. He’s a Baptist for crying out loud. With Vaas it was strange  _ without _ the occasional curse words sprinkled into his sentences. Just a normal part of his vocabulary. With John it feels wrong. Though maybe it’s because he lacks the accent. He doesn’t have the utter passion and anger she’s used to hearing those crude syllables wrapped around. He has a practiced, formal twang that she isn’t used to. 

John sighs when she doesn’t answer his question. He’s trying to take too much, too fast and he knows it. She expects more pain, that’s what normally comes. She’s starting to get used to this song and dance. So he surprises her when he doesn’t move from his seat. 

“Did Vaas give you that necklace?” 

She nods. 

“He must’ve loved you very much. I hear the fondness in your voice whenever you speak of him. There’s this little twinkle in your eyes. It’s cute.” 

_ It’s cute,  _ he says. But his tone says it’s anything but. He almost sounds disgusted. 

She decides to rub it in just a little. “We loved each other, yeah. Him and I were the same, y’see. That’s why we worked so well together.”

John’s smile isn’t kind anymore. It’s an angry twist of his lips that makes some dull part of her brain she long thought since dead start to panic. 

He stands up, shoving the chair away. That calm mask slips as he grabs her throat and squeezes. She wants him to kill her. It’d be a kind death. Nice and swift. But just as quickly as he grabbed her, he lets go.

His hand drops to tug at her necklace. 

“If you loved him so much then you’d be with him. Instead you’re here with me.” He smiles when he says it, taking her necklace off to hold it up to the light. 

Inside of her something dies as he walks away with the green pendant hanging out of his back pocket. 


	4. A Little Bit of Fun

Vaas comes around to see her before the sun rises. He’s bathed in shadows from the moon, shaking her from a restless slumber despite her pathetic whines. He let up though, the stubborn bastard, no matter how much she begs he makes sure her attention is on him. 

She closes her eyes for a second as he directs his attention to the myriad of items he's brought with him that lays at his feet. Hopefully she can get just a moment more of sleep. 

“Hermana, c’mon, I need you awake. Let me see your hand.” 

No such luck 

She sighs, knocking her head back against the bamboo as she stares at him. “It’s Kai.” 

He just stares at her, starting to unravel a bandage, “what?” 

“My name.” She stretches away from the cage as far as the rope will allow and dips her head in a mock bow. “Kai Hannan, pleasure to meet you.” She laughs as she rights herself. The lack of sleep is starting to get to her. Even Vaas seems mildly concerned as he cuts her hands free and cradles her broken one. 

The bandages on his fingers scratch her skin, they’re discolored and dirty. She has half a mind to ask when’s the last time he’s changed it. That’d be too far, wouldn’t it? It might give the wrong message, like the fact that she cares. Which is absurd. She’s supposed to hate him, but so far he’s the only one who’s shown her an iota of kindness. Even if he’s apt to switch in an instant and scream in her face.

She almost laughs. This whole thing sounds like the epitome of an abusive relationship. Or Stockholm syndrome. Christ, she’s never going to be the same after this.

“This might hurt.” It’s all the warning she gets before he starts tugging on her fingers roughly. Cracking things into place until she’s a panting, whimpering wreck. “Consider this payment after what you did to my nuts. They’re swollen.”

She snorts. “They are not.” She searches his open expression for any annoyance. Waiting for him to tell her not to talk to him like that, but nothing comes. He’s got a little half smile on. He’s amused by her antics. She shakes her head. “You’re such a dramatic pirate lord.”

“Pirate lord…huh, it does have a nice ring to it, eh, chica?” 

She grits her teeth, holding back the urge to correct him because she just literally told him her name. It doesn’t matter. She’d rather him not get angry as he bandages her wrist and fingers. 

“Kai. Hermana, hey!” 

Kai jumps, head snapping up to meet his green eyes. He snaps his fingers in her face. Frowning when she just blinks back at him. 

“What?”

“‘What?’ I’m  _ talking,  _ that’s what. You need to work on your listening skills.” He stares at her a moment longer, waiting for something. Maybe for her to ask just what he had been talking about.

She doesn’t do that at all. 

“What’s gotten into you? Are you sick?” He touches her forehead with the back of his palm, glaring at her as though her change in attitude is her fault. “You’re acting weird.”

“I’m tired.” 

“Who the fuck isn’t?” He leans back on his heels, holding his face in his hands as he observes her. “You’re some kind of sick.”

She narrows her eyes at him. Suddenly offended. How dare he act concerned when less than a day ago he was the one who broke her hand? 

“I feel fine.”

“No offense, but you look like shit. Really, you look fucking awful.”

Kai certainly feels awful, but she’s not about to admit that to him. There’d be no point. She’s tired and hungry and scared. That’d wear on anyone’s psyche. He wouldn’t get it. 

He drags his eyes over her body, lips pursed. “It’s not a good look for you.”

She...doesn’t know what he means by that. But she does know that he seems mildly disappointed. And so she tries to stretch her luck a little more. He seems to be in a good mood today, fixing her hand and letting her talk to him so openly. 

“A shower might help?” She tries subtly, but he knows what she’s doing. She can see it in his eyes.

And yet he nods, standing to open up the cage. He holds out his hand for her to take, staring down at her without much of an expression. Strange. Worrying too, that he gave in so easily. 

He wiggles his fingers to catch her attention, almost beckoning to her. 

She doesn’t take his offered hand, he scares her shitless. Not to mention that she still remembers what he did to Chris. So she stands on shaky legs and sidesteps him completely as she walks out. 

“That’s very rude, hermana,” he calls after her. 

She grunts, ignoring the quick sounds of his approaching footsteps. She doesn’t expect him to grab her, but he does. He spins her around to face him, giving her a harsh shake that makes her head pound. 

“I’m only trying to  _ help _ !” He hisses, throwing up his hands. “I wouldn’t recommend walking around here without someone to watch you. These men are  _ animals _ .” 

He laughs when she goes pale. Patting her on the cheek before tugging her along. “Especially if you’re headed to the bathhouse.”

“I-I’ll keep that in mind.”

This time he doesn’t correct her weak stuttering voice. She knows he hates it when people cry, when they beg and scream. She’s trying to fix that, but moments like the ones they just had? Where he flips out? It reminds her how scared she should be. That she can’t ever find stable footing around him or let her guard down. 

The thought makes her shake. Especially because he’s right, he’s the only thing keeping his men from pouncing on her. She sees the way they stare at her...Kai lingers a little more closely to Vaas’ side. Hesitating when they make it to the bathhouse. 

More public than she’s used to, or what she would’ve liked, but it’s a shower. And god the thought of a shower makes her shake with excitement. 

“Go on,” He's leaning with his hand propped up on the door, jerking his head to motion her inside. “Don’t say I never do anything nice for you.”

“Right. Thank you.”

“Ahh, there is it.” His laugh follows after her as she walks inside. “Manners are very important, I see you’re learning.” 

She rolls her eyes, it was fear more than anything that made her thank him, but whatever he wants to think. That’s fine.

“Now hurry up, the whole camp will be awake soon and I’m not holding anyone back if they need to piss.” 

Kai jumps, twirling around to find him up against the far wall. 

“What are you doing?”

He just stares at her, raising his eyebrow. 

“Can’t you wait out there?” 

“Do you think I’m dumb?” 

She shakes her head, she doesn’t dare give him any other sort of answer. With her back turned to him she begins to strip, occasionally glancing behind her. He isn’t exactly staring, he’s got his knife out and he’s cleaning out from under his dirty nails. 

Sometimes his eyes flicker up, once meeting hers where he just raised an eyebrow at her.  _ Hurry up.  _

It’s uncomfortable when she finally steps under the frigid stream. She lets out a surprised squeak, wrapping her arms around her chest as she pushes herself against the wall to escape the water. 

Behind her Vaas laughs loudly. “We don’t have warm water. Not like back home, huh?”

She glances over her shoulder at him, scowling. “Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” His tone changes and she realizes her mistake immediately. She can hear it already.  _ Don’t tell me what to do. This is my island, and you’re only here because of your decisions.  _

Kai falls quiet but he won’t let the subject drop. 

“I thought we were over this whole ignoring me shit.” He still has his knife in his hand and he’s using it to gesture wildly. “Stop doing what, Kai?” 

She drops her chin down to her chest. She  _ hates  _ the way he says her name. His accent changes it, makes him say it so terribly wrong. 

“Stop making me out to be spoiled just because of where I’m from.” 

He laughs again, slamming his fist against the wall. “That’s fucking hilarious. For a moment there, hermana, you sounded serious.” He pauses, walking closer to catch her eyes. “You aren’t serious, are you?”

She shivers. Tries to focus on washing herself instead of his dangerous tone. 

“All of you fucks that come here are the same. Spoiled brats looking for a little thrill. Then you find it and you start crying.” 

Kai glares at him...he’s not wrong, not with her case at least. 

He sheathes his knife, thank god. “Now hurry up, we have work to do today.” 

Her eyes go wide as he turns around, giving her some semblance of privacy. She starts to scrub her body, mouth opening and closing like a beached whale. 

“‘ _ We?’”  _

“Yep.” He falls back on the opposite wall once more. Eyes darting down to her chest. His gaze flickers to his necklace still around her neck. It’s a shameful mark she has to wear. “I’m stuck with you for whoever the fuck knows how long.” He waves his hand with a roll of his eyes. “You’re not sitting around in that cage doing fuck all. You’re going to help out around here, make yourself useful for once in your life.”

“Do you do that with all your captives?”

He shrugs, watching her casually. She holds his gaze, pride bursting up inside her chest. “Just last week I made one of the rejects my pony.”

Kai stops, her hands still held in her mess of hair. “You...you did what? What do you mean by that?”

He smiles, pleased with her horrified expression. “Yeah, I tore out one of those car seats from a busted truck—y’see I took that and tied it around his back. Then I put one of those things in his mouth that horses have, it kept him from talking and gave me some control with the ropes I had. That’s some royal treatment right there, hermana. You should try it sometime.” He's still smiling at her, noting how she stopped moving. “Are you done?”

“Yeah…”

He jerks his head in a nod, leaving her there dripping wet as he sticks his head out of the bathhouse and whistles sharply. 

“Get me some fucking clothes!”

There’s a muffled response she can barely hear, though it sounds Spanish. 

“I don’t care, fucking anything. Go in your closet if you need to.”

New clothes? What’s he playing at?

“Vaas?”

“What, hermana?”

She carefully steps out of the shower, wrapping her hands around her chest as she approaches him. “How long do I have to wear this?” She tugs at his necklace, drawing his eyes down. 

“Until I say so,” he mutters with a shake of his head. He looks away from her, reaching out to grab something as one of his men approach. “Don’t ask stupid questions, drives me fucking insane, having to explain shit like that.”

She snatches the clothes from him, annoyed. 

“Hey!” He grabs her wrist and jerks her towards him. Smashing their bodies together. “Don't fucking grab things like that.” He glares at her. “You’re starting to get on my nerves.” He takes hold of her chin roughly, “Hoyt was very clear that I couldn’t kill you, and I don’t want to, you’re starting to grow on me. But I can still show you my fucking displeasure if I want to.” 

Vaas shoves her away roughly, making her stumble. She doesn’t waste any time getting dressed. Barely looking at what she’s been given. Turns out it’s better than what she had by a longshot. They’re clean, for one, and they’re better suited for the warmer weather Rook Island has to offer. It’s a tank top similar to what the pirates wear and some cargo shorts that hang off her hips. She must’ve lost weight, it doesn’t surprise her but it’s enough to make a sob catch in her throat. 

If Vaas notices he doesn’t say anything, too pissed probably. He’s got his arms crossed over his chest and he’s staring outside at the camp coming to life. 

She hasn’t been given a new pair of panties or a bra, and Vaas is holding her soiled clothes. She’s too nervous to ask for them back. So she goes without. The tank top is large enough to hide her chest, thank god, and she’ll have to get used to the feeling of being bare below the waist. That’s the least of her concerns.

Right now she’s more worried about where Vaas is taking her. It’s within walking distance, so they’re not leaving the camp, and she can’t say if that’s a good thing or not. 

“I want to show you my garden, Kai.” He flashes a grin at her, reaching out to put an arm around her shoulders to wrangle her closer. “Do you like gardening?”

“I guess? I’ve never really done it before.”

“Ah, that’s a shame. It’s really relaxing. Therapeutic. Though usually I just jerk off if I need a little stress relief.” 

He howls with laughter as she turns red and pushes against his chest to get away. He lets her, ignoring her look of disgust.

He points to the thick brush ahead of them, “it’s right through there. Go check it out.” 

Kai nods, pushing past leaves and branches until she comes to a clearing. She sees a small shed first, the door hanging off its hinges in disrepair. There’s an empty lookout tower and a wooden gate that’s seven feet tall. Keeping Vaas’ garden safe, she guesses.

Speaking of which…

She frowns, craning her head around. Behind her she hears the crunch of leaves as Vaas approaches. 

“Um, Vaas...where’s all the flowers?”

He jogs—practically skips—up to her. Taking her around the waist to spin her around. Apparently she had been facing the wrong way. But it’s strange to not notice them if only a 90 degree difference was all that separated her from—

She screams. Back pedaling as fast as she can. She nearly trips in her rush to get away. There are dozens of heads sticking out of the sandy ground. Lots of them are swarming with flies and maggots, and many more are covered in dried blood.

“Vaas…”

“Do you like it?” He walks to stand beside her. He’s smiling, gesturing to the dead people buried neck deep. “It took a lot of work, I’d be offended if you didn’t like it.”

Kai nods slowly. Dazed more than anything as she continues to stare. 

“Why do you need me here?” 

“Because we’re planting some new flowers. I think we’ll have…” he taps his chin with his finger, pursing his lips in thought. “Three more? I think three sounds good. Here, let me get us some shovels.”

That surprises her, she watches him wander off to the shed. “You’re helping?”

“He comes out carrying two shovels, handing one off to her. “Of course, hermana, it’s my garden. What kind of man do you take me for?”

_ The crazy, sadistic kind,  _ she thinks but absolutely does not say. In fact after that she keeps deadly quiet until an approaching car breaks the jungle silence. 

There are two men and a woman. Tied up and bruised.

The worst part is their screams. They won’t shut up. Then again, if she was in their position, about to be buried among dozens of other people, she would be screaming too. 

Vaas doesn’t like the noise. They’ll learn that soon. But for now she gets to watch him slowly lose him patience. It’s fascinating how she’s learning what makes him tick. 

She’s learning to survive. 

“Hey, people, I’m trying to work here. If we could be quiet.” He pauses, looks around at the captives on their knees being forced to watch their own graves be dug. 

They still sob. 

**“Shut the fuck up!”** Vaas takes his gun out and shoots one of the men in the leg. “Shut up, shut the  _ fuck _ up!” He stomps forward and jams the tip of the gun in the man’s new gunshot wound. He howls in pain and Vaas hits him upside the head. Making him fall silent. 

It does the trick. The other two quiet down mere seconds later. 

“Fucking finally,” he mutters, spinning back around as he holsters his gun. He spins his shovel around like a baton, almost hitting her in the process. “Alright, let's start.”

Kai jams the shovel down into the sand, right where he points at her to dig. The sand gives easily under her feeble weight, but it’s not long after that she reaches the rougher, harder dirt underneath. She begins to sweat and pant. When she risks a glance at 

Vaas, he hardly looks like he’s been working at all. 

Her eyes flick down to his bulging muscles. He must be used to this kind of thing. 

He starts whistling a few seconds later. 

It bothers her but she knows better than to show it. It’s terrible to say, but she’d rather him take out his anger on the people he’s about to bury than her. 

“Are you done?”

Kai looks up and scowls. “Hardly.”

He shrugs, like he doesn’t understand her anger. 

She draws in a deep breath and gets back to it. Stabbing at the hardened earth and finally getting deep enough where Vaas calls “that’s enough,” and tugs her out of the human sized hole she dug. 

Kai turns her back as he forces them in. He asks for her help but it’s then that she throws up and he laughs, going to finish it himself. 

“Can we go back now?” 

“Go back?” He gestures to the sky, spinning in a slow circle with his arms spread wide, “it’s still light out, let’s find something fun to do.” 

“This wasn’t fun enough?”

He laughs, sticking out the tip of his tongue playfully. “A little bit.” 

Kai feels sick. She regrets asking. 

The fun that Vaas had been referring to isn’t too outlandish. She actually has the start of a smile on her face as Vaas guides her to a makeshift shooting range. He holds up a bow, twirling it around before handing it off to her. 

She’s never held one before. It’s heavier than she expects. 

“Do you see those targets over that cliff?” He's standing real close to her, pointing past the painted dart boards she thought she was going to hit. She squints her eyes, looking for what he wants her to see. 

Then she spots it. 

“I’m not shooting them.”

“Here, here, I’ll help.”

He takes up a position behind her, forcing her arms to stretch the bow string back. He slots in an arrow for her, crushing her fingers in his own to hold over the feathery tip. 

Kai can hardly see through the film of fresh tears. Over the cliff, down near the shore maybe twenty miles away, are people. They’re tied up, arms and legs pulled taut to keep them immobile with their backs pressed against tall boulders. 

It’s Vaas’ crazy target practice and he’s making her partake. 

He’s literally breathing down her neck, body pressed tight against hers. He nuzzles her cheek and murmurs soft words of encouragement in her ear. 

She wants to believe that it’s him that looses the arrow and hits its mark. He killed that person. Not her. 

He yells out loudly, excited as he raises a fist in triumph. “Look at that! Nice shot, hermana!” He rushes forward, grabs her cheeks in a grip that bruises and smashes their lips together. 

It lasts only an instant. Just a quick peck where she’s made hyper aware of the scratch of his facial hair. She freezes up, caught off guard. But it’s over as soon as it began, he’s stepping back—still smiling—and taking the bow from her hand. 

She watches him for a bit as he laughs and has the time of his life. And she feels something awful well up inside her chest. She curls her hands into fists, trying desperately to push down the realization that she enjoyed Vaas’ kiss. 

Kai wants to throw up. She feels bile rise up in her throat that she has to swallow down. She wants to try and justify it, because really how long has it been since she’s had a touch that hasn’t been anything else but pain? 

It’s only normal. 

Then why are tears starting to gather in her eyes?

“Hey.”

_ Shut up. _

“Hermama, why are you crying?”

_ Please just stop. _

“What happened? We were having so much fun. Come on, let's do it again. You’ll be a natural in no time.” 


	5. Witnessing Horrors

She sleeps in Vaas’ house now, taken out of that cramped cage for reasons he doesn’t expressly reveal. She’s kept as a slave,  _ his  _ slave, just for the time being. And that thought is more depressing than she first realizes. It creeps up on her at random points of the day. The sudden, instant thought that one day she’ll be ripped away from this island and forced into the hands of a monster because her freedom is no longer her own. 

Not like Vaas isn’t a monster, but by now she can read him. He’s starting to get predictable. She’s only alive because she knows him, she knows what he wants. Hell, he said it himself, he decides who gets to live and die. She’s more than aware of this and she’s learned to play his game. 

She isn’t  _ boring _ , and that’s the key, isn’t it? It’s why he brings her along to teach her to shoot and why he allows her a shower and to ride in the front seat with him on the rare occasion they go for a drive. 

She entertains him. Keeps him on his toes with each day that she becomes more emboldened. His little spit fire. His  _ tigre _ . His  _ guepardo _ . Said with almost a hint of fondness in his voice when he pets over her cheek. 

Her proverbial leash is loosened just a tad if only to tease and show her, as he so eloquently said one time, she’s his bitch. She has nowhere to go. He trusts that the fear that occasionally sparks in her eyes is real, and so him leaving her alone is becoming a more often occurrence. And so it’s impossibly easy to go for a walk on the beach at night. She doesn’t know where Vaas is, which makes this trip even more dangerous. He had been sleeping beside her, but at some point during the night someone had come knocking on the door and he had slipped out with them. 

Leaving her alone and now, unfortunately, unable to go back to sleep. She’s nothing but prey here, and she can’t close her eyes if she can’t see the enemy. 

She hopes the cool air and the chirping birds will calm her down. Maybe make her sleepy. She isn’t sure where she is exactly, just that she’s somewhere south of Vaas’ house. She can run back quick if she needs to. But she hears a commotion, and well, she feels like it’d be a mistake to  _ not _ check it out. She’s already been put in the awkward position of waiting up for Vaas only for him to return covered in blood and raging about something that he won’t talk of. 

She’d like to see what keys him up so much. Even if it kills her, which isn’t much of a concern right now. She doesn’t believe Vaas would kill her. He’s having too much fun.

Kai can hear Vaas yelling, the raise of his voice shot off towards some unlucky soul that got in his way. He guides her towards him like that, where she hunches over in the bushes to watch just what he’s doing. 

She can’t hear exactly what he’s saying, but it seems like he’s done, because he stands up suddenly, glaring down at the two men he’s got trapped in a cage, and walks away. Shame that she missed the show, and boy what a show it must’ve been, because the men trapped and bound don’t even look as if they’ve been crying. 

They look strong and able bodied, like they’re willing to give a little push back to anyone with authority. The kind of people Vaas enjoys to fuck with the most just to eventually prove that his dick is bigger. 

Kai should most definitely leave. She certainly can’t stay here, it’s not safe. Not when Vaas is headed god only knows where and can easily figure out that she’s not where she’s meant to be, but she hasn’t been able to get anywhere near Vaas’ other prisoners, at least not close enough to talk to them. 

It’s already running through her head now, a quick and hasty plan on how the hell to get close to them. If she has any luck left at all, they’ll speak English, even luckier and they won’t throw up their dinner when they'll inevitably have to shoot someone, lord knows she wouldn’t be of any use when they have to fight. 

Because breaking out of this place is still a possibility. 

She creeps up a little closer, waiting in the bushes. She swears she only looks down for a second, just a quick glance to make sure the coast is clear, and when she looks back up one of them has his hands free and is tearing the tape off his mouth. 

Ballsy fucker. 

She’s close enough now to hear them speak, and so she definitely hears him mutter a snarky “motherfucker,” as he glances over his shoulder at where Vaas disappeared. 

He crawls across the dirty ground, freeing his friend and asking a soft “are you hurt?”

“I don’t think so.” He rubs at his wrists, and yeah, if Kai had to guess he isn’t lying. He looks fine, just as good as most of Vaas’ prisoners when they arrive. Only a little dirty and scuffed. The merchandise needs to look presentable when Hoyt comes around to check on them. 

“We have to find the others.”

Others. The prospect of more people makes this messy. It always gets tough when emotions are involved. 

“How?”

“I’m working on it. Call the guard.” He falls back against the cage, putting his hands back up as if he’s still bound, motioning for his friend to do the same. She sees what they’re doing. Smart man. Even so, she’s doubtful that they’ll make it out alive. 

She almost feels bad when the guard falls for it and wanders too damn close, getting caught in a vice like grip until he falls limp. A snapped neck probably, and he doesn’t seem to fazed that he just killed someone with his bare hands. Makes her wonder just who he is until he shakes off his friends’ concern with an even “that is what they teach you in the army.”

Kai hit the jackpot. Getting military plopped right into her lap like this. She’s tempted to  run up to them, reveal herself so they can work this out together, you know, if they  _ weren’t _ traipsing around like they own the place. 

Following close behind, trying to take the same routes they do because they seem to know what they’re doing, she learns their names and their immense regret for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

She knows the feeling. 

She wishes that she had been paying more attention though, that she hadn’t so selfishly been looking out for herself and only herself. Then maybe she would’ve swallowed all that fear and yelled out to them when she spotted Vaas lining up his sights and firing. 

Kai falls back on her ass, flinching as if she had been the one to get shot. Her hand creeps up to her neck, mirroring where Grant had taken a bullet. 

The sounds he makes...god, it’s enough to make her gag. She can’t cry for Jason, even if her heart goes out to him as he mutters Grant’s name and urges him to stay with him. All her tears have dried up long ago. 

She wishes Jason would just run. Then she wouldn’t have to hear the awful way Vaas talks, how he teases and curses in the way that he’s so good at. 

“What? Huh? What, you want to run, you want to disrespect me? You want to fuck with me?” Vaas puts a hand to his chest, face twisting in a rage she knows so well. “I mean you come here with your pretty boy face, right, and your pretty boy phone, your dimwit brother, and you want to fuck with me. You want to fuck with me. I like that, no, I respect that.” He gestures to Jason, a half smile on his face, and Kai thinks for a minute that Jason will make it. Because Vaas isn’t lying, he  _ does  _ like that kind of fight in a person. 

Her hopes dwindle just as fast as it came with Vaas’ next few words.

“I’m gonna give you 30 seconds and if this jungle doesn’t eat you up alive, I will. Go, go.”

Vaas bends at the waist, tipping his head to the side to catch Jason’s eye when he doesn’t move. “What are you, fucking deaf? I said get the fuck outta here chicken fuck!”

Jason suddenly jolts into action. Scrambling back on hands and knees, stepping widely over, who she now knows to be, his brother’s body, and disappears into the forest just as Vaas calls after him with a teasing “run, Forest, run!” 

Kai takes her leave. She hears the mania in Vaas’ voice and decides that it’d be best if he didn’t find her creeping around. She goes back to their house and curls up under the thin blanket. She doesn’t fall asleep for the rest of the night. And Vaas doesn’t return until the early morning. 

.0.

“Is she for sale?”

It’s the first thing that comes out of his mouth, and she isn’t at all surprised that he’s friends with Vaas. 

“Unfortunately, no, hermano.  _ Mate,  _ whatever the fuck you want to be called today.”

This strange man just chuckles, rubbing at his beard before kicking at a chair to take a seat. Vaas remains standing, leaning against a wooden post as they regard one another. 

“Huh.” He squints past the sun to run his eyes over the body. “Can I fuck her?”

Vaas shakes his head real slow and regretful like, sucking on his teeth and making a noise that has her ears aching. “You’re kidding right? You must be kidding because that’s the most stupid  _ fucking _ question I’ve heard all day.” Vaas closes the distance between them and for a second Kai thinks he’s about to shoot him, he just clocks him over the head with his hand though, making the stranger wince and laugh like this kind of interaction is normal. “Hoyt will be on both our dicks if you do that.”

“So why the fuck did you call me here, mate?” 

Vaas smiles, drawling out a soft “well,” as he hops up to sit on the table, legs swinging idly, “I have a present for you. At a discounted price too, because we’re such good friends, huh, Buck?”

_ Buck.  _ Kai tucks that name away for later. As someone dangerous and to stay away from. 

“I don’t have all day, c’mon then, lets see it.” Buck waves his hand, leaning back in his chair. Kai already knows what’s coming, she tries to prepare herself, but hearing his cries of panic makes her sick. Vaas surely isn’t helping, with the way he curses in his native tongue and wrangles the smaller man in. 

She wants to help, she does, because there’s still a part of her that believes she’ll get back home safe and sound. The only problem is that she can’t wait. Her nose is healing nicely, and her fingers will be quick to follow. She’s running out of time. Her only hope is the American who went rouge last night, who is probably only concerned with his friends. Which is why it’s great that she knows exactly where one of those friends is headed right now. 

“How much is he?”

“Normally? Three million. But for you, I’ll make it two.”

Buck laughs, a hand over his chest as if he’s offended, “that’s hardly a discount, Vaas. But I have to say, he’s a pretty thing.” Buck stands up and rounds the table, “what’s his name?” 

“Keith.” 

Buck reaches out to touch Keith, stroking his cheek and moving down to his chest. His fingers catch on the buttons of Keith’s shirt, undoing them as he goes down. 

Keith yells out from behind the tape over his mouth. Squirming in Vaas’ iron grip. At first Kai thinks that Vaas is about to lose his cool, he normally does, but he must know Buck well enough because he lets Keith fight and Buck doesn’t complain.

“Yeah, I’ll take him. You know I like them feisty.” Buck laughs, and that’s that. She just witnessed a goddamn sale. That’s going to be her one day. 

Kai watches them drive off, Keith yelling despite the tape still over his mouth, and she turns and throws up. 

“Oh, come on, really?” Vaas has his hands on his hips, glaring down at the mess she made. “I should make you clean that shit up. Stick your fucking nose in it.” He waves his hand at her, more than annoyed. “Get the fuck inside, chica.” 

Kai doesn’t hesitate, she scrambles to open the door and falls down on the bed. She buries her head into a pillow and screams until her throat hurts. 

She realizes her problem now. She’s been waiting for some sort of white knight to come in to rescue her. And just maybe that’s what Jason could be. A savior. How long will that be though?

By the time he gains any footing, if at all, she could be gone. 

She has to act by herself. She doesn’t have time to wait to play the damsel in distress. 

“Was that you screaming?”

Kai jumps, she hadn’t heard Vaas come in. He wanders over to a cooler, taking out a beer bottle and collapsing down next to her on the bed. He takes a swig, eyeing her as he tips his head back. 

“Yeah,” she admits. 

“Why?” He reaches up and taps on her head roughly with his knuckle. “Are you finally losing it?”

“What? No.” She pushes him away. Hands lingering on his chest, wondering if that had been a mistake. 

“It’s a joke, hermana, you need to learn how to relax.” 

She’s about to shake her head, maybe go off and get some fresh air, but he jumps up. “I have just the thing, hang on, hang on. Stay right there.” He rummages around in a few drawers, like a man on a mission as he searches for something. “Aha! Here it is!” He holds up a plastic baggie, wagging it in the air triumphantly. “You’re upset. I get that, you can be upset. It’s fine. A run in with Buck will do that to anyone.” Vaas chuckles, coming to crouch down in front of Kai where she’s still sat on the bed. 

“Just be glad you’re not being sold to that fucker. He likes when they fight back. Perverted sicko, eh?” 

Kai trembles, giving a shaky nod. If she knew the alternative than maybe she would be more grateful. But for now, so long as she’s with Vaas, she’ll count her blessings. 

He reaches down into the bag, scooping out some of the white powder. There’s a gentle dusting on the tip of his index finger that he shows off of to her. 

“Coke,” he says in way of explanation. “Ever had any?”

“No.”

“Didn’t think so. Fuck, you need to learn to live.” He scrambles to get closer, bracing a hand on her thigh and digging his nails in. “Open up.”

Kai doesn’t hesitate, she pries her lips apart and opens her mouth for him. Flinching when he jams his finger in her mouth and swipes it across her gums. 

She sputters, coughing and gagging. She’s never done drugs before. She’s fucking terrified to say the least. Kai wants to ask what’s going to happen to her, if she should be scared. But Vaas is more focused on snorting up his own coke—three lines that is—from the palm of his hand. 

“Vaas?” 

He snorts, wiping the leftover residue off the underside of his nose. “What?”

“I feel weird.”  _ Is it supposed to work that fast?  _

He laughs, getting back on the bed. He holds her around her shoulders, tucking her into his side. “Just wait until the paranoia kicks in.”

“What?” 

He laughs like a hyena, tossing his head back. “I’m joking.” He pauses, frowning, “actually no, I guess I’m not. It’s all a toss up, a crap shoot, you get me, hermana? It affects people differently.” He sighs, clearly experiencing a better high than she is.

He stands up with a flourish, digging a cigar out of the pocket and lighting up. He sends a puff into the air, seeming more relaxed than she’s ever seen him, when a knock on the door ruins that. 

“Fucking fuck—“ he flings the door open wide, giving her a full view of who dared to disturb him. “What?!” 

The pirate standing before him pauses, hefting his gun in his hands as he chooses his words carefully. 

Vaas loses his patience too quickly. “What do you want? Huh? What the fuck are you on my dick for?” 

“It’s Jason Brody, jefe, the one you told us to—“

“I know who the fucker is.” He takes another puff of his cigar, and she has a feeling the coke is making him a tad more irritable than normal. “Did you find him? Is he dead, are you here to give me his fucking head on a pole?!”

The pirate shakes his head

“Didn’t think so. Useless prick.” Vaas grabs hold of the back of the pirate’s neck and jams the nub of the cigar into the flesh of his neck. 

For what it’s worth, Kai is surprised how well the pirate takes it. Hardly makes a sound except for the explanation he tries to get out past gritted teeth.

“He’s messing with the radio towers around the island.” 

Vaas groans, chucking the cigar outside. “And that fucker is still alive? On my island? Go,” he shoves the pirate and follows after him, “pull the damn truck around.” He slams the door shut, not saying a word to her as he leaves. She imagines his orders are clear enough, the same as they always are. 

This is her chance. It’s got to be now, even if she’s high. She doesn’t know when her next shot will be. The strangely easy part is getting out of Vaas’ camp. There are enough blind spots for her to slip out unnoticed, the problem comes when she’s outside all on her own and she has no clue where Buck lives. She doesn’t know where Buck has taken Keith. Christ she doesn’t even know anything about this island, if there are any spots he’d be more likely to frequent. Whether that be a fishing spot or a bar—she doesn’t know where those places would be. 

So she picks a direction and starts walking. The coke helps, makes her feel dangerously happy as she walks along without a care. 

“Are you lost, luv?” 

Kai spins around as fast as her drug-addled brain can manage. She staggers back when she comes face to face to a man that seems strangely familiar. 

_ Buck.  _

With his shirt open all the way with his tattoo on display, his short beard and bright, intuitive eyes. Oh, and she really doesn’t like his smile. 

“Suppose it’d be the neighborly thing to do would be to take you in. Make sure Vaas doesn’t lose his pet.”

She shakes her head. “I’m not his pet.”

“No?” He takes a step closer, as if they already weren’t close enough. Now she can smell him. A bitter mix of tobacco and the ocean. “He hasn't bought you yet?”

Her lip curls once more at the thought of people being so carelessly sold. “No.”

“Then I guess you’re a stray, huh?” 

“Wha—“

He lunges forward and grabs her, wrapping his arms around her torso before she has a chance to process what’s happening. He’s stronger than he looks, and that almost makes him more dangerous than Vaas. She underestimated Buck, and now she’s paying the price for that. It doesn’t help that she’s half starved as it is though, even the labor that Vaas makes her do isn’t enough to keep her toned. 

She never had a chance in hell. 


	6. Who Do You Belong To?

Buck’s basement is very small. It’s dank and dirty, sort of wet in a way she can’t explain. There’s a humidity in the air too, one that’s only staved off when Buck opens the door to come down, which provides just a moment of relief and nothing more. 

Her clothes end up clinging to her body, sticking to her like a second skin. Keith isn’t faring much better. They don’t have a choice but to sleep on the same threadbare mattress, and within their forced proximity comes the ability to identify the light that fades from his eyes as days roll by. She hadn’t known him before all this, but she can only imagine what he had been like. A carefree twenty something just looking for an adventure, just a night out on the town.

All that personality is gone now. Replaced with gut trembling fear. 

She supposes the kind of torture Buck is interested in will do that to anyone. And, suffice to say, she’s simply waiting on her turn. Buck didn’t bring her down here just for her to watch. And yet that’s exactly what he has her do for the first couple of days. As he drags Keith away and shoves him on the cold floor to take him as he wants. Kai wants to close her eyes, sometimes she does, but that only makes Buck go at Keith harder. 

Buck comes down late at night when they’re both sleeping just to wake her up. He doesn’t bother shaking her shoulder, no kind of pleasantries as he pulls her on her feet and throws her down on the cement. Kai’s body goes limp almost immediately, she pushes herself as far as she can away from him. Staring up with wide eyes. 

“You’re so pretty when you’re scared. We need to get a mirror down here or something, jus’ so you can see yourself.” He kneels between her legs as he shoves them apart, grabbing her hips to tug her near until their pelvis’ bump together. He thumbs at her cheek, right over tear stained skin. And he smiles. 

“Yeah, keep crying,” he mutters, planting a hand between her breasts to force her flat on her back. “I bet you make nice sounds when you’re struggling for breath and panicking. Between you and me, Keith is wearing on my nerves. Let’s hope you can do better, yeah?” He rounds on her fast, releasing her to come rest his crotch near her face. He cradles her head, lifting her near as he undoes the fly of his pants. 

She had expected to get the same treatment that Keith had, certainly nothing involving her mouth. Keith always had tape covering his lips, was always groaning and yelling words that were impossible to make out. 

“I don’t...I can’t—“ she drags her hand up to brace on his thigh. Glancing nervously away as he pulls his half hard length out. 

“What? Never done this before, Kai?” 

She once thought the worst thing she’d ever hear was Vaas saying her name. But now, hearing Buck say it, framing it with mockery and anger, it makes her sick. She’s going to have to change her name if she ever makes it back home. 

“Are you going to cry? They usually do by now. They beg and scream, go on, I won’t stop you, luv.” 

She remembers what Vaas had said, how sick Buck is. How perverted. He’d only get off on her crying. 

“No? Really, no tears? Ahh, I’m impressed.” He smiles down at her, stroking his dick languidly. He grunts, face twisting in discomfort. “Here, at least give me some spit.” He holds his hand out, waiting. It takes her a moment to catch up, and she cranes her neck, gathers the saliva in her mouth and spits into his palm. 

“Thank you, Kai. There we go, nice and sweet.” He waits a beat, going to stroke himself with his now slicked up hand. “‘Say you’re welcome, sir.’”

Her eye twitches. “Really?”

He cocks an eyebrow, a soft, taunting smile on his lips. Yeah, he’s not joking. 

She swallows her pride. “You’re welcome, sir,” she whispers. Keeping her gaze pointedly away from his heated flesh. It’s difficult though, with how close he keeps his dick to her lips. Close enough that he probably feels the warmth of her breath. 

Buck is uncharacteristically quiet as he guides his cock into her mouth. And she obeys, knowing better from her times watching him with Keith, than to not do what she’s told. 

She doesn’t mean to bite him, and really she wouldn’t call it a bite. More like a scrape. It must hurt though, either that or he’s a dramatic bastard just looking for a reason to hurt her. Because he nearly jumps away from her mouth as his hand tangles in her hair and  _ tugs.  _

“Vaas didn’t fucking train you, no wonder you weren’t sold.” He pulls himself out of her mouth, bending in half to get closer to her face. Their noses brush and she almost gags. “If I had to guess you were gonna be thrown in the pits real soon.” He shoves her away and stands up, shoving himself back in his pants. 

She watches him apathetically as he walks over to a table and grabs at the first thing his fingers wrap around. 

A pair of pliers. 

They’re rusted and covered in dry, darkened blood. 

Kai runs. Or she tries to. She makes an attempt to dash past him and go up the stairs—not like the door is unlocked but she isn’t quite thinking straight. 

He grabs her before she makes it. Tossing her to the floor and straddling her hips to keep her pinned down. And once again she’s reminded just how weak she’s gotten. She also realizes that Vaas had been right, she  _ was  _ lucky. 

“Woo! That was fun wasn’t it? We hadn’t had excitement for a real long time, Kai. I’ve gotta thank you for that.” He taps her cheek with the pliers, making her flinch. “I’m still gonna hurt you for that shit. Fuck.” He runs a hand through his hair, slicking it back as he grabs her jaw and squeezes until she gasps. 

“Keep your mouth open.” 

At first, as naive as she is, she has no clue what he’s planning to do. Then the pliers wrap around her canine and she gets the gist.

She whimpers, trying to plead with her eyes. 

He only laughs. Speaking through a muted groan as his grip on her tooth tightens. “Don’t look at me like that, Kai, it’ll only make me go at you harder.” 

He tugs and pulls and jerks her tooth around. And she  _ feels _ it. Every little crack as it separates from her gums resonates through her jaw. She closes her eyes and lets the tears fall freely, at one point her hands come up and grasp onto his thighs, clawing as his skin to relieve the pain somehow. 

It comes out with a sickening noise, along with a rush of blood that she’s forced to swallow. 

Buck chucks the tooth away into the shadows like it’s nothing at all.

“Should’ve just fucked you,” he mutters, “would’ve been less work, isn’t that right, Kai?” He’s taunting her, and she hates to say it, but it’s working. It leaves her feeling dejected and angry at the same time, which is a feat she never thought possible. 

“Alright. Number two. Hold still.” 

The second one hurts a little less. Though she’ll chalk that up to the adrenaline. By the third and forth, her mouth is a throbbing mess of pain. 

All canines. All gone. 

“Think I should take anymore? Maybe those front teeth. Couple of molars…”

“Please don’t.” She tries to say, but it doesn’t come out properly. Her mouth is filled with blood that she’s forced to spit out. Her words slur and her tongue gets in the way. 

“Huh? What was that? Can’t seem to hear you.” He laughs at his own joke. Fuck him. 

“Get some fucking rest, Kai. We’ll try again in the morning.” 

Kai sleeps on the floor that night, the sound of the fridge beside her opening waking her up. She groans, rolling onto her side to try and get up. 

“Don’t move. You’re hurt.”

It’s Keith, illuminated only by the fridge light. He grabs a cool bottle of water and goes to crouch beside her. 

“He usually takes me…”

She laughs, feeling so fucking tired of this mess. “Bet you’re glad I’m here then, huh?” Her words still don’t sound right, but at least she can get them out. 

Keith doesn’t say anything, and that alone is an answer. She can’t blame him. She knows it’s a rare occurrence for him to sleep through the night. 

“Here.” He hands her the water bottle and she manages to down a quarter of it. Most just runs down her front. 

She falls back asleep on the floor a couple minutes later. She doesn’t even realize she dozes off until she’s being jolted back away by a shoe nudging at her. 

“Come on, wakey, wakey. We’ve got more work to do.”

She closes her eyes and whines. 

He takes four more teeth before he forces Keith on hands and knees and goes back upstairs. 

She can’t find it in her to care about going home anymore. For the first time since she came here, she wants to die. 

Kai loses track of time down there. She gets stuck in the motions of being shoved on her knees and being taken from behind. Buck teaches her how to take his length down her throat without gagging. He teaches her how to please him the way he likes, reaching her fingers around to stretch his hole. 

He tears her apart every single fucking day. 

But it’s life. This kind of outcome was always inevitable. 

.0.

**_“Kai!”_ **

It’s not an entirely pleasant way to wake up. Having your names screamed from up above, somewhere you can’t even see. It jolts her out of her nightmare as she scans the dimly lit room. 

She recognizes that voice. 

“Vaas, mate, get the fuck out of my house.”

“Fuck you, amigo, I’ll kill you! I swear to whatever fucking god you pray to at night.” 

There’s an alrighty crash, like something being pushed over, and Buck sounds off a litany of curse words. If it had been a week ago, if Buck hadn’t made her so scared, she’d call out to Vaas. She’d scream for help. 

She came to terms that she’ll probably die down here. 

“Kai?!”

“You’re wasting your time, Vaas—“

“You haven’t bought her yet, she’s still mine. Do you even realize how fucking disrespectful that is?”

“She’s Hoyt’s, actually. All those fuckers are until you sell them. You’re their keeper but Hoyt owns them. And if our boss is telling the truth, then he didn’t even know your  _ hermana  _ existed. What’s up with that, mate? Are we keeping secrets now?”

“Shut. Up.”

“Hoyt said he’ll want to examine her first, but he’ll be glad to sell her to me. I’m a good customer that he doesn’t want to lose, as for you, well I think you’re replaceable.” 

There’s another crash. This one’s much closer than before. She weakly raises her head, glancing down at where Keith is still lying down. He’s awake now though, eyes wide and scared. 

She stands up on shaky legs and walks over to the base of the stairs, craning her neck to look at the basement door. Willing it to open. For Vaas to find it and pull her out of this hell. 

Who knew her white knight would be Vaas?

“Someone should teach you to keep quiet,” she hears Vaas snap. And then she hears the unmistakable sound of a gun being cocked. “I oughta cut your fucking tongue out, hermano. Get the fuck over here!”

“Vaas—“

“I said get over here!! You think I’m playing around, huh?! You think I want to waste my time with you?! Hm? Tell me! Fucking answer me you peice of shit!”

Kai flinches at the rise in Vaas’ voice. She can imagine so perfectly how his face contorts in rage. How he’s waving his gun around and pacing back and forth. How he wouldn’t be afraid at all to slice at Buck’s tongue until it’s no longer a part of his body. 

“She isn’t yours, mate, let it go—“

There’s a gunshot. A scream. Then Vaas is yelling again.

“You’re keeping her in your little dungeon, aren’t you? With Keith?” 

Kai holds onto the wall, taking the steps two at a time as she rounds the bend in the stairs to get a better view of the door. Just in time too, Vaas must be trying to break it down because the flimsily wooden thing caves in on its hinges. 

He does that over and over again, cursing in a mix of Spanish and English, telling Buck about all the awful things he’s going to do to him, that he doesn’t give a fuck what Hoyt will do without his favorite hitman. 

When the door finally gives way she jumps back, pushing herself into the wall as she stares wide eyed up at Vaas. 

His eyes find hers and she watches all that anger resurface as he turns back on Buck. Kai can only see his legs, he’s on the floor, holding his bloody thigh. 

“You fucker. You little British fucker.”

“I’m Australian, mate.”

_ “I don’t fucking give a fuck where you’re from!!  _ I’m gonna take your dick and feed it to you, get the hell over here!”

She finds her voice then, when Vaas stalks off to pounce on Buck. She mumbles his name, way too soft for him to hear. It’s hard to talk, her mouth is sore. She staggers up the stairs when she hears the sound of Vaas’ fists repeatedly hitting Buck. 

“Vaas.” Louder this time. He ignores her though. “Vaas, please.” She makes it on the ground level, and she lingers behind him, taking a sick sort of pleasure watching Buck hurt. 

She has a feeling they’ll be in deep shit if Buck dies though, and so she forces her legs forward and touches Vaas’ shoulder. 

He pauses, glancing over his shoulder. 

“Can we leave? Please. I’m tired.”

His lip curls, and he gets off of Buck to grab her jaw and force her mouth open. “‘Please,’” he mimes none too kindly. “You sound like a little bitch.” He squints at her, fingers tightening on her face. “What happened to your teeth?” He shoves her away, glaring at her. 

“He pulled them out.” 

“Of course he did. What did you do? Why’d you have to make him do that? Mierda!” He grabs her shoulder and tugs her outside, leaving Buck to lick his wounds in private. 

  
He forces her into the backseat of a Jeep, getting in with her. One of his men are driving, and Vaas barks out an order in spanish and they start moving. 

Vaas pulls her into his side, leg bouncing up and down. “You shouldn’t have fucking left. What were you thinking? Estúpido.” 

“I dunno.”

He groans. Turning his head towards the open window. 

“When you first came here…”

“Mhm.”

“Were you a virgin?”

“...yeah.”

“And now?”

“No.” A sob catches in her throat that she fails to hide. “He h-hurt me. I’m sorry, Vaas.” 

The arm around her shoulder tightens as he drags her further into his chest. He sighs and rubs as his eyes. “Shut up. I have a fucking headache.”

She nods, pushing her nose into his clothes to quiet down. “Can we go home?” 

“We can’t.” 

“Vaas, no, no, please don’t. I said I’m sorry—“

“It’s out of my hands now, chica. Hoyt called an hour ago, that’s how I found you. Buck tried to buy you and Hoyt had no clue who the fuck he was talking about. Now we’re both screwed.”

She wants to argue that she’s worse off than him, but she knows better. “So where are we going?”

“To see Hoyt. See what he wants done with you.” He glances down at her apathetically. “Your nose looks good.” He reaches down to hold her hand. “So do your fingers. You’re good as new, hermana. Ready for purchase.” 

“Buck…”

“He’ll want you. Always looking for a new plaything, that man. Fuck.” His head falls back on the headrest, eyes closing. She knows better than to say anything, and so she just pushes into him closer, wrapping her arms snugly around him. It’s nice to be held like this after all the pain she endured. She almost feels safe. 

“I want to stay with you.”

“No fucking shit. What? You saw what’s waiting for you, having to get fucked every night by some pig’s nasty cock and now you want me? Isn’t that sweet, like some Romeo and Juliet shit.”

“They both die at the end.”

He chuckles, peeking open an eye to glance down at her. “They sure do, hermana.” 

He leans his chin on top of her head, sighing loudly. She swears that he falls asleep for a minute or so, just by the way his muscles go lax. He tugs her in close with a hand on her inner thigh. Giving it a squeeze every now and again. 

She relishes in his warmth for the moment. He’s being strangely sweet, and isn’t that funny? Maybe distance does make the heart grow fonder. It has for her, if only because she saw what’s waiting for her. 

She needs to convince Hoyt to let her stay with Vaas. She won’t survive if she gets shipped somewhere else. She hardly survived that ordeal with Buck. 

“You’re quiet,” he mumbles, words slightly muffled by her hair. 

“Don’t tell me you miss my voice.” It’s a light tease, and it falls flat. Her voice sounds too dead. 

“Nah. Just not used to the silence. It was weird without you home, you were my shadow for what feels like forever.”

She tries to glance up at him but he holds her tighter until she’s immobile. “It was only like, two weeks.”

He makes a noise in the back of his throat that she can’t identify. He doesn’t sound angry though, just tired. She can relate to that, but she can’t figure out what would make him so lethargic. 

She isn’t well versed in drugs, so she’s not too sure if any of them would make him like this. 

“Are you sober?” 

“A little.” 

Kai bites her tongue. He’s not acting like himself, and by the time they arrive where they’re meant to be, she’s legitimately worried about this man who doesn’t seem at all like the Vaas she remembers. 

He grabs a hold of her shoulder and manhandles her out the car. Jostling her the whole way until they’re standing in front of a man who she never would’ve guessed to be supreme ruler of this whole operation. 

He looks weak. Unintimidating. She wonders what the hell he did to earn the position he's in. But he’s Hoyt all the same, and that name alone is enough to make her knees weak just based on what she’s heard. He controls what happens to her. It’s all up to him. 

“Vaas, you’re earlier than I expected.”

Vaas just shrugs, letting her go and crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Well, no matter, you’re here now. Take a seat.” His eyes flick to her, “you too.”

She does so robotically, following Vaas’ every step. She’s stiff all over, her muscles achy from her toes and up between her legs where she’s sore. And her mouth...she’s thinking if she ever gets off this island with her free will intact that she’ll get some kind of false teeth. 

“Let's get down to it then,” Hoyt declares, smiling at them both from behind his desk, “Vaas, you haven’t been forthcoming with me about your shipments.” He waves a finger at him admonishingly, “I didn’t know you picked up a young lady like her.” He’s still smiling, but Kai doesn’t know him well enough to tell if it’s real. 

Vaas doesn’t look scared, but that’s just him. He wouldn’t be where he is if he could be easily frightened. 

“Were you going to buy her? Or were you planning on pulling one over on me?” 

Vaas snorts and she flinches at the sharp noise, “neither, she broke her nose the first week she was here, and some of her fingers. Couldn’t sell her like that.”

“Well...you could.”

Vaas shrugs again, looking over at her. She holds his eyes, but realizes that he’s not quite staring at her. More like over her shoulder at a spot on the wall. 

“Look at her though,” Vaas reaches out and takes hold of her chin. She’s surprised that she doesn’t flinch—she’s not sure who she’s playing strong for. “She’d sell for a lot. And that nose,” he clicks his tongue and shoves her face away roughly. “It’s healed now though. Figured as much, considering she’s been gone for about a week.”

_ No. That can’t be right. There’s no way she’s been gone from home for two fucking weeks.  _

“Gone.” Hoyt chuckles. “You make it sound like she was on vacation.” He leans forward, eyes suddenly going hard. “She ran, Vaas. How the fuck did that happen?” 

“I was dealing with Brody.” He glances at her, “she had some coke before I left, thought that would put her out.”

“Guess not.” 

Vaas twists his neck, rubbing at a knot. The air grows tense and she feels like she’s about to throw up. 

“So you don’t want her?”

“No.”

And just like that Kai feels like she’s been shot. As if her heart’s been ripped out of her chest and crushed. She knows why it hurts so much, and maybe that’s the worst part of all. She’d rather be ignorant to her feelings and motivations. Instead she’s drawn to this terrible sadistic man because he can keep her safe. 

And safe is only a relative term now. 

He’s taught her how to shoot a gun and bow. How to build small cages and huts among his men. He’s shown her what’s safe to eat on this island. He’s a survivor and he’s showing her how to be one. 

But she’s under no impression that they’re friends. 

“Alright. So if I sent her away to be sold by someone else…?”

She has a feeling this is merely a test. 

“Go ahead, hermano.” 

Kai shakes her head sharply before she even realizes what she’s doing and Hoyt laughs. 

“She doesn’t seem to agree with that.”

“Who the fuck cares?” Vaas stands suddenly and grabs her shoulders, forcing her onto her feet. “Who’s taking over?”

Hoyt jerks his head to the door they came through. “Jorge is out there, he’ll find her a buyer.” 

“Come on then, puta.”

“No.” She digs her heels into the floor. Hand instinctively coming up to grab a hold of Vaas’ wrists. “I don’t want to.”

“Did I fucking ask you? That’s really funny, because I don’t think I did.” He gives her a sharper tug, forcing her forward, “I’m not in the moods to play games.” 

“Why?”

“Because I’m fucking sick and tired of your shit. You’re more trouble than you’re worth.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” She plants her hand on a nearby table to stop their progress.  _ “Why are you doing this?! You said you liked me!”  _

“ **Don’t fucking yell at me** ! You spend two weeks with Buck and now you think you’re hot shit. You think you can take on the whole world and raise your voice at me? Is that it? Huh?!” He doesn’t let her answer, he readjusts his grip and pulls her in near with a hand tangled in the front of her shirt. Their noses almost touch. 

“I am tempted to respect that, and I would, because I’m an honest man, but then you went and spit in my fucking face and ran away like a scared puppy.” His gaze flickers around her face, and ever so quietly he whispers, “were you trying to make your way to my sister?”

_ His...what? _

“You have a sister?”

“Now we’re playing dumb? Now, we think I’m stupid? God, I’m so fucking sick of being  _ underestimated!!”  _ He shoves her down, forces her to slam on her knees painfully hard.

“You are  _ not _ a warrior.” He seethes quietly, pulling out his gun. “Citra will fill your head with pretty lies, let me tell you hermana, I’m speaking from experience.”

Hoyt clears his throat, “what’s with all the whispering, Vaas? Still with the secrecy?” 

Vaas bares his teeth, angry at her, like this is her fault. He gestures with his gun at the door. “Leave.”

“No.”

He cocks it, leveling it against her head. “I said leave.”

“I’d rather die.” She reaches up and grabs a hold of the barrel of the gun, pushing it further into her skin. 

Vaas snarls down at her, finger twitching on the trigger. 

Behind her, Hoyt laughs. He walks up and puts his hands on her shoulders. He bends at the waist until she can barely see him in her periphery. 

“Stockholm syndrome is a marvelous thing, huh? Really brings people together.”

She shakes her head, still looking at Vaas. “It’s not Stockholm syndrome.” 

“No? Maybe Lima syndrome then?” He directs this at Vaas, standing back up. Finally Vaas’ eyes snap away from hers to focus on his boss. “Whatever the case, you two make an interesting pair. Better be careful Vaas, this one might replace you one day if you turn your back for too long.”

Vaas opens his mouth to complain, eyebrows furrowing, but something Hoyt does must stop him because his words die off.

“Keep her. I don’t give a fuck. I just need the payment.”

“I don’t want her.” 

“It’s not a matter of what you want this time, Vaas. Like I said, you two are good together. Really frightening, truly there’s something about you two…” he sighs airily, “she’ll stay with you, but you’ll still pay me. It’s only fair after not telling me you had kept her for so long.”

Vaas tucks his gun away. Glaring at her from where she’s still on the ground. “She’s not worth a lot anymore. Maybe half a grand.” 

Hoyt laughs. “I was thinking of a different kind of payment.” He circles around Kai, fingers trailing on her shoulders as he goes. He pushes the pistol away from her head, grabbing Vaas’ wrist. “Jason Brody—Snow White, is that what you’ve taken to calling him?”

Vaas nods slowly.

“I want his body delivered to my doorstep. I want him fucking dead, alright? You’ve got two weeks.”

“Until what?”

“You want me to tell you? No. No, no, no, I want to keep you on your toes. Good luck, Vaas. Happy hunting.” 


	7. Oh, The Bliss

“I haven’t been able to find a damn thing about her.” John sorts through the papers in front of him, quickly correcting himself, “at least nothing worthwhile.” He slides her file over towards Joseph, watching as his brother gingerly picks it up and flicks through it. 

John’s foot taps rhythmically against the floor. “Do you see the six year gap in her timeline?” 

“Yes. Presumably when she was with that man, Vaas, was it?”

John nods. Fingers drumming on his desk anxiously. 

“Do you know where Vaas lives?”

“That’s the thing, I can’t find fuck all about the guy. I’d be inclined to believe she was lying if the emotion in her eyes wasn’t so  _ real.”  _

Joseph hums, tossing the folder down and rubbing his eyes wearily. “Is finding out that part of her past really imperative to marking her?”

“How am I supposed to know her sins if she won’t tell me fuck all? Something happened, Joseph.”

“Are you sure you’re not…” he sighs, shaking his head, “I don’t know, obsessing over this one more than normal?” 

John blinks back at his brother. Not too sure what to say to that. After all the confessions and the baptisms, all the questionable shit he’s done over the years, he’s never been called out so blatantly. 

It’s uncomfortable. Leaves John feeling like his mind has been laid out and picked apart. 

He clears his throat, fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt as he finds the right words. 

“I’m not obsessing over her. I just don’t like secrets.”

“The bliss could help. She might see something that would aid her confession. Take her to Faith as soon as possible.”

John makes arrangements that afternoon. 

.0.

Kai doesn’t know much about the woman sitting in front of her, but she immediately loathes her. 

She introduces herself as Faith and holds out an expectant hand. Like Kai’s own appendages aren’t zip tied together. Amateur really, she feels like she’d be able to break through the thin pieces of plastic. Rope is so much more efficient. 

Faith giggles, realizing her mistake. And instead leans over to grapple Kai into a one sided hug. She shifts uncomfortably on her knees, the tall weeds making impressions into her skin. 

She doesn’t see why this has to take place in a field of all places, but she can’t complain too much. She was starting to miss the outside world. John’s bunker left much to be desired. 

She's tempted to ask, but Faith starts talking and she gets the impression that this will be over a lot quicker if she listens. 

“John says you’re carrying a great burden.” Faith reaches out to touch Kai’s cheek. She forces herself not to recoil. “That you need help if you’re to be set free. That’s okay,” she laughs softly, “it’s okay to ask for help now and again.”

Kai nods. Though she doesn’t add anything. She has no clue where this is going. 

“Have you heard of the bliss?”

A shake of her head. 

“It’s a wonderful thing!” Faith practically bounces, hands cupped together just under her chin as she beams at Kai. “It’ll make you  _ see _ .”

“Does this have anything to do with my confession?” It has to. John’s been more and more impatient with her. He’s been more...manic, if such a word could describe a Baptist. 

“It does. John only wants what’s best for you.”

At that comment Kai slides her eyes over to him at the edge of the field, where John is standing just before a winding river. He’s leaning against his SUV, talking to a man she doesn’t recognize. 

“He took my necklace,” Kai says, but she can’t exactly explain why she even bothered. 

“I know.” Her voice drops to a soft coo, like Kai is nothing more than a child. “And I’m sorry for that. But it’s important to let go of our tainted past, it’s the only way for us to start a better life. John can help you release whatever demons you’re carrying, he just needs to know what happened.” 

Kai wants to tell her that, to an extent, she liked her old life. The point is moot though, so she sits back on her heels and watches as Faith leans away to pluck a white flower. So very different from the foliage on Rook island. 

Faith leans forward, holding out the flower for Kai to smell it. She waves it below her nose and cups her cheek to draw her near. 

Drugs. 

That’s what these are. She’s had her fair run in with them, pretty normal in an active war zone. She’s seen the pirates around her smoke joints and watched as Vaas leaned over a table to snort up a suspicious white powder. She’s seen him high and drunk and just about on every drug one could imagine. 

One time he even let her try some. 

But this is different. Everything goes sparkly around the edges of her vision and the world around her changes in a heartbeat. Faith fades away until Kai is left all alone in what looks like a dense forest. 

Hallucinations are one thing, but this is something else entirely. Something like the drug coated knife Vaas had used on her. 

Kai swallows the urge to scream. It’s easier than she thought it would be. In fact, it’s like she can’t panic at all. The fear she should be feeling is being nudged to the side over and over again until she’s able to wobble onto her feet and start walking. 

There’s someone here with her. A flash of shadows and a flicker of light beyond the trees that makes her pause. 

“Faith?” 

She squints, tries to see past the sun glaring in her eyes. No...no it’s not Faith. The figure it all wrong. More muscular. John maybe? 

Any familiar face in this sea of madness would be nice, and so she rushes forward. She walks over roots and fallen trees until she steps clear of the forest and onto a beach. A nasty shore with bulging rocks and a high tide. 

It’s a beautiful sight. 

Kai spins in a slow circle, she had been following someone. Her eyes scan over the horizon until she sees him. 

He’s crouched down on the beach, fiddling with something she can’t make out. It takes only a second for her to realize that it’s not John. 

“Vaas?” 

She takes a step back. Away. She has to remind herself that it’s not real. That he’s not really there, humming to himself and on this faux beach. 

Kai turns and without a second thought she runs. She sprints away as fast as she can manage. 

_ It’s not real it’s not real it’s not real  _

The last time she saw Vaas...the last time she watched him laugh and smile and crack jokes at her expense…no, he can’t possibly be here, not when he was angry and covered in blood and—

“Kai!” 

She trips and falls, slamming down onto soft grass. No more sand or messy jungles.

“Kai, look at me, what’s wrong, my dear?”

_ John? _

She looks up through teary lashes and lets out a sob of relief. “I-I can’t...why’d you do that to me. Why?” She reaches out and clings onto the front of John’s coat. He reacts immediately. Leaning in to allow her to hold onto him. 

He wraps his arms around her torso, laying a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m so sorry. Most people don’t have that sort of reaction.” He nuzzles their cheeks together, the scratch of his beard somewhat comforting. “What did you see?”

Kai closes her eyes. Shuddering. When she opens them again, gathering up her courage, she sees him once more. 

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you cry, hermana. And I mean really cry, like the ugly Hollywood acting kind. It’s not a good look for you.” He shakes his head mournfully. “I’m insulted. Did you spare me any of your goddamn tears when you left me?” 

Kai can’t help it. She screams. She doesn’t even realize it’s her at first until John is holding her face and telling her to calm down. That everything is okay, that he won’t let anyone hurt her. 

She’s already been hurt though, he can’t change the past. 

“Maybe the bliss wasn’t such a good idea.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jacob.” John kisses her forehead. Holding her head to his chest. “Close your eyes, my dear. Don’t look. Just focus on me.” 

“Is this some sort of punishment?” She chokes out. Tears still slipping out past clenched lids. “Because I won’t confess?”

“No. No, that’s not what it was meant to be. I told you, most people don’t react like that to the bliss...what did you see, Kai?”

Her bottom lip trembles. She sinks her teeth into it until she tastes blood. John thumbs at her lip gently, tells her to stop hurting herself. 

The pain grounds her. She feels like John, out of anyone, should understand. She’s seen his scars, heard his story. 

“Did you see him? Vaas?”

She shudders. Strange, hearing his name on John’s lips. It feels dangerous, like the simple utterance of his title will bring him forth. 

“Kai?”

“Y-yeah. It was him. He—“ she looks up suddenly with wide eyes. Holding John’s shoulders so tight he winces. “He looked  _ so real _ .” 

“I’m sorry. Truly I am. Come, let's go back.”

Kai wants to fight. She wants to dig her heels into the dirt and claw out of his grasp. She wants to have the brute of a man standing nearby wrestle her to the ground and make her feel  _ alive  _ the same way Vaas had. She’s lost all her fight though. It’s been zapped out of her. 

She's not as special as the people on Rook island believed her to be. She isn’t too sure why it took her so long to figure it out.

Pathetic, really. She’s glad Vaas isn’t around to see what she’s become. He’d put her out of her misery without hesitation, and she’d let him. 


	8. Putting It Together

“I’ve been doing some research.” 

Jacob barely glances up from his clipboard, but he’s listening. John can tell just from the twitch of his eyebrow. 

It’s enough. Right now John just needs someone to throw ideas at. 

“This necklace,” John pulls the green gem from his pocket to dangle near Jacob until he looks up at it, “it’s quite the jewel, huh?”

He shrugs, “that fancy shit is more your wheelhouse.”

“No, that’s the thing. I don’t think it’s fancy at all. Hardly expensive. It’s  _ local. Native.  _ Something picked up from wherever her and Vaas were living.” 

Jacob leans back in his chair, glancing out at the courtyard as he kicks at the rails of the balcony in thought. “What’re you gonna do when you find this guy?”

“Nothing. Probably. I just want to know what Kai did. She’s...troubled. Some sort of PTSD.” 

Jacob grunts in understanding. Smoothing his hand over his papers as the wind picks up. 

John leans on the balcony, stroking the jewel with his thumb. “It’s not too uncommon actually. Somewhere around Asia.” He sighs, “that’s really all I could find out.”

“You’re losing your touch, Johnny.”

John at least laughs at that. But it’s tinged with bitterness. He’s tired. Not for the first time Jacob wonders why he’s bothering so hard with this one. He knows better than to question his brothers motives though, he isn’t feeling up for dealing with John’s defensiveness. 

“So now what, John? You tell her you know she was somewhere in Asia and hope she’ll cave?”

John glares at Jacob, fingers tightening around the necklace before he jams it back in his pocket. “No...no it’ll be easier than that. She’s losing it. Between the lack of contact with the outside world and that bliss trip—it's only a matter of time before she slips.”

Jacob purses his lips, pen rapping methodically against the clipboard. “You said she loved Vaas?”

"Yeah.”

“Then she’ll be quick to defend him.” Jacob leans forward, watching as John catches up to where he’s going with this. “You said she’s been through something terrible, and if she isn’t telling you then surely you gotta assume Vaas was the one who hurt her.”

John laughs softly, a gentle breath of air that barely reaches Jacob. “Oh.” He leaves without saying goodbye. Apparently too excited to even thank his brother. 

.0.

Kai doesn’t fight when John’s guards come to grab her out of her cell. She had been sleeping, and that’s part of the reason why she goes limp as they force her back into John’s confession room. Tying her up to the same chair she’s been sat in for, about 5 weeks? Maybe more. 

She’s become acquainted with these walls. 

She tries to get some more sleep, hangs her head despite the knot that will no doubt form in her neck, and closes her eyes. Being this deep in his bunker behind metal doors meant for the end of the world, it’s easy to get some quiet here. It’s so different from her cell, she doesn’t have to grow crazy from the constant pacing of the guards, or the wailing and begging from the other prisoners. 

The only sound to keep her company is the internal mechanics of the bunker. 

Surprisingly she almost dozes off, or maybe she does, time is but an illusion. But the sound of the door squeaking on its hinges draws her gaze. Her head snaps up and locks onto John’s steely eyes. 

“Kai. Darling, are you feeling better?”

She clears her throat. It hurts. “Define ‘better.’”

“Do you still feel the effects of the bliss?”

“No.” 

He smiles at her, pulling up a chair in front of her. “Then you’re better.” He sits down with a flourish, looking more self assured then she’s seen in a while. He doesn’t look as unhinged as before, some time away from her did him well. 

“I have a question,” he starts softly, leaning in to whisper. “When did Vaas hurt you?”

She startles. Eyes blowing wide as she stares at him. “W-what?” 

“You heard me.” He cups his jaw in his hand. Raising an eyebrow. 

“Vaas never hurt me. He...he was great. I love him.” She glowers at him, suspicious, “but you knew that.”

He feigns surprise, “did I? Sorry. It’s been a couple days.” He waves his hand, laughing gently. “So let’s make sure I got this right, because I want to make sure I get your sin right.” He straightens his back, hands folding in his lap. “Vaas took you in, saved you when he came into your life.”

"No,” she interrupts. “I came into  _ his  _ life. You’ve got it backwards.”

“Oh.” His lip curls. “Apologies. I didn’t realize there was a difference.” 

“There is.”

He hums, glancing down momentarily. “I assume—correct me if I’m wrong—but I assume that he’s older. Old enough to have the knowledge to help you go through whatever you had been going through.” 

She narrows her eyes at him. “I know what you’re doing. You don’t get to know about Vaas. That’s for me.” 

John keeps on talking like she hadn’t said a thing. “For some reason I see him taller than you, maybe brown eyes, brown hair. Pale skin, and that’s only because I noticed that you went on a vacation away from the states for years and well, wouldn’t Europe be a wonderful place to vacation?” 

She wants to tell him to stop, to get the fuck out of her head because he’s starting to itch at her brain in a way that makes her want to shrivel up and die. 

Vaas doesn’t deserve this disrespect. 

“I never went to Europe.”

“Not...exotic enough?”

She huffs a laugh. “Something like that. I wanted an adventure. I mean, I was a broke art major who couldn’t find a job. Life wasn’t too glamorous.”

“Ahh, I'd say I can relate but we have had very different paths in life. I went to law school, I suppose that’s why Joseph chose me to talk to people. It’s what I did before Eden's Gate.” He pauses, looking thoughtful, “I think Vaas and I would get along.”

“You wouldn’t. Not at all.” Kai smiles at the thought. “He’d  _ hate _ you. Probably boast about how much he can sell you for. Rich, white boy like you.” The words fall off her tongue before she can stop them, sounding so much like Vaas that she glances around the room for the man himself. 

“I have money, and not to sound too prideful, but I have a sharp tongue. I think I’d be able to buy him off.”

She snorts, rolling her eyes. “He’d get a kick out of that. You’d entertain him for a few days.”

“Then when I stop entertaining him?”

“Depends. You’d have to ask him yourself. You should visit his island, make a whole trip out of it. You can go birdwatching and snorkeling, even skydiving.” She’s leaning forward now, the only thing holding her back being the ropes digging into her skin. 

Her eyes are glazed over and she feels herself slipping away as reality fades as the past rolls into her head. “I wish Vaas was here. I wish I could go back. I miss him so, so much, John. I just want to see him one more time.” Finally she refocuses back on him, a tear slipping out to run down her cheek. 

“I’m a pilot. I can take you back. Would you like that?” 

“Would—would you really? Really, John? You’d do that?”

“I would. If that’s what it takes for you to walk into Eden—“

“Yes! I’ll do anything, I just want to go back and see it.”

John nods along with her, a finger idly tapping his lips as he asks a soft “where would I be flying, my dear?”

“Rook Island. It’s small, not even on a map. But it’s near Indonesia, I-I can navigate if you need me to.” 

John makes a small noise in the back of he’s throat, like he's considering her offer. Like he’s not convinced. Kai so desperately wants to change that. She clenches her eyes shut, fighting back tears as her head swims. The bliss is gone from her system, she’s sure of it, and yet ever since that day in the field she’s been feeling like her head is going to explode. 

Sometimes, when things are really bad, sparkles fill her vision and she feels like she’s about to fall off the face of the earth. She doesn’t tell John that, something is wrong with her and she’d much rather not get poked and prodded at because he ‘cares.’

“I won’t run, I promise,” she tries futility. Eyes opening back up to stare over at him. 

He taps his jaw, leaning back in his chair. He opens his mouth to speak, gaze locking onto hers, but a banging at the metal door behind her stops him. She sees a flicker of annoyance run across his face. Ruining his features and reminding her that this is all an act, only days before he had been so cruel to her.

He took her necklace. 

John stands and walks by her, clapping her on the shoulder with a terse “stay put,” before he opens the metal door. There’s a muffled conversation that she strains to hear, but John is surprisingly good at whispering. Amongst other more dangerous things.

The door clangs shut once more and John walks back into her field of view. Smiling that wide, beaming smile that makes her stomach turn. He bends at the waist, hands on his knees as he addresses her. 

“Darling, do you know anyone by the name Hurk? Hm? Does that ring any bells?”

It only takes a second for Kai to go back through her memories before she slowly shakes her head. 

“Huh, that’s very interesting indeed. He seems to know you, mentioned your name a few times. Said the both of you were on Rook Island together. Now isn’t that very telling. Sit tight, my dear, I’ll bring in our guest of honor.”

.0.

Putting them in a cell all alone with cameras out of sight (but still there of course, just hidden, John’s not an idiot) turns out to be a brilliant idea. 

Though if Joseph were here he would say otherwise, because it ends with Kai crying. She’s sat in a corner with her hands pressed tight over her ears right around the time Hurk casually mentions that Vaas is gone. 

Gone can mean a lot of things. Dead, thrown out of power—they had said enough for John to gather that Vaas was a goddamn pirate warlord—or maybe he just left the island. 

John wants to know for sure what it is, he wants to know why Kai is still so attached to this man and yet she didn’t seem to know his fate. Or perhaps she did, she could’ve known all along and just remembering it again set her off. 

He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he leans back in his chair. He doesn’t know how to help her, well, not really. It’s obvious that whatever demons she’s holding onto need to be let go if she’s ever to want  _ him,  _ but John doesn’t know how to go about that. This whole thing is a fucking mess, and if she were anyone else, just a random citizen of Hope, then he’d be done with her. She wouldn’t be worth the trouble. 

Something about her though...they’re one and the same. He feels it. He  _ sees  _ it, every time he looks into her eyes. She’s broken and pained just like him. And a tad bit crazy, even if she tries to hide that part of herself. He’ll teach her to embrace it. All the ugly parts, the same way he had. He just needs to figure out if Vaas is dead, and if he isn’t John has no problem hunting him down and killing the man who’s getting in the way of him and Kai. 


	9. Kill Or Be Killed

Vaas resents her mere existence. 

He says she’s more trouble than she’s worth. Right before they go to sleep, he tells her that he’s bored. 

He’s going to kill her today. 

With an easy, loose grasp of his arm around her waist they walk deeper into the woods, his fingers making imprints into her skin. He’s eerily quiet. It’s a bad day for everyone involved when he doesn’t feel like talking. 

They had driven here in an old car with no a/c. The trip was tense, overwhelming in ways she didn’t think were possible. She sat on the edge of her seat, the dingy belt digging into her breastbone. Out of the corner of her eye she watched Vaas. Too nervous to let him out of her sight. He looked bored. Slightly annoyed too. Hardly hearing whatever nonsense his men were trying to say. Vaas left them waiting with orders to stay put on the outskirts of the forest.

He left his radio in the car when they got out, the same radio Hoyt called him on halfway through the drive. It gave Kai a peak at what kind of stress Vaas must be under as Hoyt prattled on, telling him that Brody’s been in the area for god only knows how long and that he’d be fucking stupid to not take his chance now. 

Kai is shaking by the time they make it through the dense trees and into a clearing. He releases his hold on her, fingers skimming along her waist as he walks forward. She doesn’t move, too focused on the loose canon in front of her. 

He pulls out his pistol, weighing it in his hands as he glances back at her. “Come here, hermana.” He gestures to the spot in front of him with his gun. “Right here.” 

She does so begrudgingly. Dragging her feet. 

He raises her chin with the barrel. “You’re no fun like this.” He whispers, and in his eyes she thinks she sees something. Not pity, she’s not  _ that _ important to him, but he’s not happy either. He’s genuinely upset at this revolution. When did that happen? When the fuck did she start to care what he thought? 

Stockholm syndrome, that’s what Hoyt said. She doesn’t know how long it takes for something like that to set in. Nor does she know if it’s at all simple to tear down someone’s psyche. She doesn’t want to think of herself as that weak. 

Vaas sighs, cocking the gun and wrangling her in by throwing an arm around her shoulders until her head is tucked under his chin. He waits a second, fitting the gun snug against her temple. 

“Nothing? Really?” He shoves her away. Annoyed. “Fuck.” 

She blinks at him, her insides twisting into knots as she wonders if it would really be that bad to die. She swallows thickly, asking a hesitant, “are you going to kill me?”

He isn’t looking at her anymore, instead turning the pistol around in his hands, tapping the metal with his thumb and forefinger. 

Finally he drags his eyes up to meet hers. “Yeah. I think I am.” He pauses, waits for something. “Could give you back to Buck though.” He shrugs, “maybe I’ll let you choose.” Another breath of silence where she doesn’t dare speak. Her brain feels like mush, the sun still hurts her eyes, even weeks after getting out of that basement. 

Vaas puts his gun away, walking towards her and grabbing onto her shoulders. His grip is painfully tight as he forces her on her knees then further, until she’s lying on her back and he’s straddling her hips. He sits down on her pelvis, his weight enough to hurt. 

“Brody is near. Hoyt said he might try and attack my camp.” 

Kai knows that. She heard his conversation with Hoyt. But she lets Vaas talk. She likes the sound of his voice, she’s used to it, it’s the only form of comfort she’s able to get nowadays. 

“He's been lurking around for days. I’m not too sure what’s stopping him from showing his pussy face.” He reaches out, wraps his hands around her throat. The bandages on his fingers make her skin itch. “He has a hero complex, he  _ cares  _ about people. But you know what, Kai? Family...family will fucking make you  **bleed** . They’ll rip your heart out after you do every fucking thing for them. He hasn’t realized that yet, so this might work. Maybe. I don’t know.” 

Vaas is rambling now, lost in one of his tangents as his grip around her throat tightens. 

“You know you’re my favorite,” he whispers, leaning over her until their faces are inches apart. “You’ve been doing real fucking good, hermana, except for one, little, tiny fucking mistake.” His nose brushes hers. She traces the scar on his face with her eyes, unsure what he wants her to say. And so she makes a confused sound in the back of her throat.

“Come on. Humor me.  **_Guess_ ** .” He accentuates his snarl with a squeeze to her throat. Cutting off her air for half a second. 

She closes her eyes, searches back in her mind and laughs weakly. This isn’t as hard as she first thought. Her attitude hasn’t been the same since Buck, and thus he hasn’t been the same. 

“Buck,” she whispers, blinking up wearily at him. Startled when he laughs excitedly, still hovering closely. 

“That’s right, hermana. That cocksucking bastard stole your fire.” He releases her, standing up and spreading his arms wide. “I have half a mind to put you out of your misery right now. Do you want that? Huh?! Do you want a slow, torturous death by yours truly?”

She breathes out, getting up on her elbows. “If it had to be anyone...I’d want it to be you.” 

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re so fucking—come here. Come, I have something to show you.” He helps her to her feet, practically flinging her up into the air as he does so. 

He drags her along, hand slotted perfectly within hers. 

“Isn’t that a pretty view, chica?” They’re pressed against one another, shoulder to shoulder as they stand on the lip of a cliff face. It drops down directly, at such a sharp angle that if you fell down then you’d be sure to snap your neck. 

The sight of such a sharp drop sends tingles running down her legs and makes her stomach swirl. 

“You have vertigo?” He questions softly, hands bracketing her waist. 

She shrugs, she’s never been this high up before. 

“Hmm?” He gives her a gentle shake and her eyes snap shut. She’s not playing his games today. She’s too damn tired. He just laughs though, and with her lids snapped shut she can’t do much when he suddenly lets go of her and nearly tosses her off. 

Kai screams, arms moving to windmill back and catch herself before she tumbles off. The feeling of falling is sharp and familiar even if she’s never actually fallen before, her gut clenches and she loses her footing on broken, craggy rocks. 

Vaas catches her. 

Pulling her back into his chest with a horrid laugh. “Hoo! Wasn’t that fun? Huh, Kai?” He hooks his chin over her shoulder, still smiling. 

His excitement, mingled with the adrenaline from watching her squirm for the first time in a while, makes him deaf to the muffled pops in the distance. She tenses, waits for Vaas to grow angry and serious, but it doesn’t come.

_ He didn’t hear it.  _

“No? You didn’t enjoy it?” Another laugh, as he spins her around to face him. “That scream was something else, really, I think your folks back home even heard it. And…” he pulls away from her to tap her playfully on the cheek, “hopefully it’ll bring my little protege running towards us.” 

She waits for another ripple of gunfire, but it never comes. 

She blinks at Vaas, gaze straying over his shoulder when a rustle of movement catches her eyes. Kai almost doesn’t recognize the man that steps forward. She’s never seen him, only ever heard what the pirates—who seem fucking terrified of him—has said. 

He's a mess, bloody and covered in dirt. Scratches across his cheek and bruises along his knuckles. Holding up a pistol and pointing it directly at Vaas’ head. 

Kai can’t keep her eyes off of him. Off the gun pointed in their direction that would end it all and kill Vaas before he has a chance to kill her. But he’s smart, like a goddamn tiger with a sixth sense, and so Vaas follows her line of sight. Turning around and bringing her with him as if she’s his own personal human shield. 

“Vaas?”

“Shhh.” He pushes a finger against her lips. Squeezing her tight around her midsection. “Snow White,” he sings, no longer addressing her, “there you are! Looking like fucking Rambo out of some movie. Goddamn, hermano, I’m proud of you.” 

“Let the girl go, Vaas, this is just between you and me.” 

“Hmm, no, no I don’t think I will. See, me and my chica, we’re a pair. We come as a set, motherfucker.” He lines up their heads near perfect, so only his eye is peaking out. “If you kill me, you’re gonna have to take her.” 

Jason flounders for words, and it makes Kai wonder how many interactions the two have had. If this moment is as really surprising as Vaas wants it to be. It’s enough to shock her. She would’ve thought he’d throw her to the wolves, but to go out together...? Is she reading too much into it? 

She’s not sure anymore. 

“She isn’t yours, Vaas.” Jason finally says. He even manages to keep his tone even and steady as he takes a small step forward. “If you gave her the chance she’d run for the hills.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

Vaas lets go of her then, shoving her off towards Jason. “Go on then, tigre, go ahead.”

_ Tigre.  _

When’s the last time he called her that? It must’ve been before she had been foolish enough to try and run, to attempt playing hero. Before Vaas became bored with her moping. The last thing she resembled right now was a damn tiger, but the word alone is enough to make her heart race.

She shakes where she stands, her legs struggling to carry her across the ground and closer to Jason. She gets it. She understands what Vaas wants her to do. What will keep her alive and safe. 

Kai has never killed anyone with her bare hands. It’s up close and personal, she doesn’t think she’ll be able to do it. Even as she’s right in front of him, a hand on her shoulder as he tells her that everything will be alright, she realizes she won’t be able to kill this man. 

But she can hurt him. 

And so she does. Her punch is weak. As unpracticed and loose as it is, catching him on the jaw but hardly making him rock back on his heels. 

It makes Vaas happy though, he lets out a high pitched, impressed whistle, rushing towards her to spin her around. He keeps her behind him, reaching out to grab Jason by the front of his shirt. 

“Like I said, she’s mine, Snow.”

“You fucking brainwashed her. She doesn’t love you, you sick fuck.” 

Vaas tips his head to the side, lips curling up into a half smile. All the while she holds tight to his bicep, keeping herself half behind him. 

“You killed my guards, didn’t you?”

Jason nods once. 

Vaas groans, head angling back to reveal his throat. “Of course you did. Fuck. It’s gonna be a long fucking drive, come on.” 

Whatever Vaas had been planning on doing to her is long forgotten. He’s smiling, at least for the moment, singing along to the songs on the radio as he drives. Happy as can be with Jason tied in the backseat and her sitting, for the first time, in the passenger seat beside him. 

It seems like she isn’t going to die today. And with that thought, along with the constant thrumming idea that Vaas claimed that they’re a  _ pair—a team— _ she realizes that she doesn’t want to die. 

.0.

Vaas ties up Jason to the bed in their shack back at camp, shoves a gag between his lips and gestures for her to take a seat when he catches her lingering by the fridge. 

She knows even before he tells her that the dingy mattress he laid out is meant for her to sit on. She does so obediently, eyes blown wide as Vaas paces, strung tight with unused energy. 

“There are a lot of things I respect about you Brody, but you, amigo,” he jabs a finger in Jason’s direction, “you insulted me.” He bends down at the waist, hands on his knees to catch Jason’s eyes. “You said my tigre, my crowning jewel of achievements on this motherfucking island, didn’t want me. And that really wounds me.” He stands up, tapping his heart with a faux smile. 

Vaas glances off towards her. “I was hoping to sell her a while ago. Would’ve made a helluva lot of money. Hoyt had other plans— have you met him yet, Brody? Try and keep it that way. He spouted some bull, but I think he was just trying to get under my skin.” Vaas sighs, hands resting on his hips as he goes back to pacing the floor. “I was thinking of killing her.” 

Kai makes a wounded noise, but aside from that she doesn’t speak. What would she even say? That she  _ likes  _ him? She’s not a child, this isn’t a damn school yard. And he’s apt to murder her any day now. 

“Do you know what changed my mind? Hm?” Vaas waits a second, as if Jason can actually answer. “She’s fierce, more than just entertaining, hermano. It’s  _ sexy _ , the way she just takes all that fucking rage and gets shit done. She tried to kill you all because I said so. Because a part of her wanted to.” Vaas turns to her, smiling wide as he glances between the two of them. “It’s really beautiful.” 

Vaas flops down on the mattress beside her, moving to cup her cheek and pull her near. Their foreheads touch briefly before he moves lower, noses bumping together. He keeps going until he can mouth over the flesh of her chin. 

“Show him how much you love me,” Vaas whispers. 

Kai wants to protest, and she really wants to ask what’s gotten into him. 

“Come on.” He grabs her shoulder, squeezing her roughly to tug her in closer. Then their lips brush and she nearly  _ whines.  _

His lips are chapped, split through the thin skin, and it must hurt when she kisses him back. But he doesn’t react as if he’s in pain, instead he smiles. His hand comes to grab the back of her head, fingers tangling in her knotted hair.

It’s a sign of control, and after all she’s been through it should scare her. It doesn’t. She feels calm, safe even. She can’t describe the wave that rushes over her as he deepens their kiss, tilting his head and licking over her lips with a sharp tongue that, a second later, darts inside her mouth. 

Kai eeks out a noise of surprise at the intrusion, trying to pull back for a breath of air, but Vaas just follows. He pushes her down flat on her back, hovering above her. 

“Bueno niña. Bueno.” He turns his head to look at Jason, and Kai’s gaze follows. Shs finds that Jason isn’t looking at all, he’s got his head turned down with his eyes screwed shut. “Hey! Fucker, look at me.”

Vaas stands up, a hand on her knee to help him rise. Jason, stupidly, doesn’t listen.

“ _ Hey!  _ I said look. Right here,” he points to himself, a twisted smile contorting his face when Jason finally smartens up and cocks his head up to Vaas. “There. There’s the Snow White I know and fucking love. So damn bold and brave, hasn’t even cried yet. God, white boy is something else, huh, chica?” 

He looks back at her, hands on his hips. “Right, Kai?”

She nods quickly, stuttering out a sharp “yeah.” Still a bit dazed from their kiss. She still tastes him, the bitterness from the tobacco and the sharp tang of alcohol she can’t identify. 

“Do you want to fuck him?”

_ What?  _

“No. No, what? Vaas…”

He laughs. “Good. That’s a good answer, let me tell you.” He spins back on her, holding out his hand for her to take. She does. She doesn’t hesitate. “I’m not letting anyone else touch you. That’s why you’re not in any of my films. Though you’d make a pretty actress.”

Kai shakes under his touch. Leaning into it. The attention, after all the lack thereof, makes her tremble inside. A small part of her brain, from somewhere deep inside, a tiny voice whispers that Vaas is lying. Only tugging on Jason’s dick just to get a rise out of him. But perhaps he finally realized what a good team they make. 

She likes that. 

She wants that to be true. 

“Let’s go tell Hoyt the good news. Give him dealer’s choice on how our hero should go out.”

“Then what?” 

He tips her chin up, kissing her one more time. “Then you and me, we rule this whole motherfucking kingdom.” 


	10. Lets Walk Through Eden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure if anyone has noticed that I keep changing the # of chapters and now it’s just a question mark because this story keeps on getting longer. Which may end up being pointless because this whole thing started as being purely self indulgent and I bet it still is so I’m sure no one really cares how long it ends up being

Kai is shaking but she doesn’t know why. The redhead John brings into her cell says she’s in shock. 

“From what?”

The redhead snorts, “dunno, John, you tell me.” He crosses his arms over his broad chest. So fucking big, his biceps, he almost reminds her of Vaas in that way. She can’t take her eyes off him. “Do you think more bliss would help?”

“Ha ha, real funny.” John gets up from his crouched position, eyes still on her as she trembles on the thin mattress. When he speaks again, he addresses her “darling, you’ll have to forgive me. I didn’t think whatever Boshaw was going to say to you would make you that upset. But I needed to know.”

She cranes her head up to stare at him. Struggling with her words before she manages a broken and strained “why?”

“Because I care about you. And something inside you,” he touches his own chest, laying his hand down flat over his heart, “it isn’t healed. I know that feeling very well.” He pauses, glancing at the larger man beside him. “It’s okay if you killed Vaas. You did what you had to in order to escape, it’s alright if—“

John doesn’t get to finish his sentence. Kai doesn’t fucking let him. 

She leaps off the bed and hits him as hard as she can. Which, admittedly, isn't too hard. The lack of care has made her weak. But it’s easier with the momentum she has from springing off the mattress. He even stumbles back, a hand flying up to his nose. 

She hopes it’s broken. 

“I didn’t kill him!” She roars. “How dare you!” She advances on him, hands curled into fists. She’s aware of John holding up his hand, keeping the redhead back. 

“The way you reacted when you heard Vaas was gone—“

She opens her mouth to speak but he keeps on going. 

“And he is. Did you not know?”

Her chest is heaving, she wants to hit him again but she doesn’t think she’ll get away with it the second time. 

“He’s dead, Kai.” 

“He’s not.”

John frowns at her, pulling his hand away from his sore nose. It’s not bloody or crooked, shame. 

“He is, my dear. I assumed, forgive me because I guess I’m wrong, but I assumed that the way you got off that island was from killing him.”

She’s crying now. Trembling again as she backs up and falls onto the bed. She shakes her head violently. Mumbling incoherent words. 

“I didn’t. I didn’t k-kill...we were friends. I love him.”

“Loved,” John corrects, but Kai keeps going as if she hadn't heard him. Maybe she didn’t. 

“I hurt him. I—I only hurt him, but I would never kill him. I couldn’t.”

He risks getting closer to her. Coming to sit down beside her on the bed. Slowly he reaches out, laying a hand on her shoulder. Rubbing her skin in soothing circles with his thumb. 

“Hurk is wrong,” she suddenly says, eyes wide as they snap up to look at John. “Everyone thought Vaas was dead, but I knew the truth. He—I...I pushed him over a cliff, into water, it was a long way down.”

“And he survived the fall?” The redhead cuts in. Lips twisted in such an unsure manner that she can’t bear to hold his gaze. 

“Yes.” She nods sporadically, chin pressed in tight to her chest as she tries to control her breathing. 

He laughs, and though his body reminds her of Vaas the mannerisms are all wrong. “How can you be sure?” 

“Because I saw him! He survived, I know he did. The fall only hurt him, he couldn’t go back to camp right away, he was injured, could hardly move and that wouldn’t look good, y’know? But...but with Vaas missing, with everyone saying he was dead...bad things were gonna happen to me. I made a mistake.” She pauses, tears making tracks down her cheeks. “Vaas protected me and he was gone for the moment and so I had to leave. I snuck onto a transport boat...made my way here. We docked in Maine and I just kept going until I got to Montana.” 

“Wrath.” John whispers gently, “perhaps Greed.” he pulls her into his chest, laying a kiss to her head. “We’ll mark you as soon as you calm down, but,” he stands up, smoothing her hair back as he makes his way to the door, “for the record, Kai, I looked into it, I tried to find Vaas. For you, of course.” He sighs, pulling open the cell door for the redhead to leave first, though John hesitates, “I’m sorry, but he’s dead, Kai.” 

.0.

“It hurts.”

He shushes her. Even lets her dig her fingers into the front of his shirt. She can hardly reach as it is, she’s bound to that same damn chair in his bunker, but he’s standing real close to her. Close enough for her to claw and scratch when the pain gets to be too much. 

A tattoo needle will do that to someone. He did warn her that it would hurt, it had been silly to think otherwise. 

“What are you writing?” 

“Wrath. I think it’s appropriate for now.” 

_ For now.  _

That sounds bad. The kind of bad that makes her realize that she doesn’t want to hang around Hope county for any longer. As soon as she has the chance she’s gone. She just needs to get above ground again. Without the bliss. 

And sometimes dreams do come true. 

“I’ve been meaning to tell you your purpose here with us for a while now. Kept slipping my mind, but it’s rapidly approaching and we have time to talk.” He pauses and flashes her a smile, one she doesn’t return. The pain makes her irritable. “You’re coming to live with me, at my ranch, you and I are bound together, you see? It’s perfect. God has delivered you to me.” 

He’s excited, giddy even, at the prospect of having her in his life. He notices her apprehension, he just doesn’t seem to mind. 

“There.” With a flick of his wrist he clicks the gun off, “done.” He steps back, forcing her fingers to drop away limply. She flexes them, mildly surprised when he goes to remove her bindings. 

“Come, I have a present for you.” 

He helps her stands, seeming all too thrilled when her legs nearly give out and she’s forced to lean on him. He walks her through the winding halls of his bunker, and for the second time since she’s been in his company, they go topside. 

Muscle memory makes her tense. Bile rises to the back of her throat and she nearly stops walking altogether. Remembering too well how terrible it was the last time. 

“No bliss?” She asks as they make their way towards a nearby parked van. One of his men opens the door for her to climb into the backseat. John slides in next to her, smiling fondly at her. 

“Not this time.”

John doesn’t talk again until they pull up to his ranch. She peers out the window anxiously, eyes roving over what’s expected to be home now. It’s fucking huge. A far cry from the secluded cell in John’s bunker she had been living in since she arrived in Hope county. 

“I’ll give you time to settle, I promise,” he helps her out of the car, hand in his as he leads her inside, past the threshold of his ranch, “but for now take a seat, right here.” 

She nearly groans in relief at how plush his couch is, her body sinks into it and her eyes flutter. 

“I’ll be right back.” 

Kai nods her consent, already feeling as if she could sleep for years. She kicks off her dirtied boots and peels away at her socks, lifting her feet onto the couch up to her chest. 

Somewhere in the depths of his ranch she hears him moving around, not too far, if she were to make any noise at all he’d come running. She’s smart, clever even, she isn’t going to take the chance of leaving unless she knows she’ll make it. And right now, as weak and tired as she is, she's better off resting. 

She can play John’s games. He’s not the worst man she’s run into. She’s safe—he wants her so he’ll keep her safe. 

Déjà vu is a terrible thing.

John comes back humming a soft tune, practically skipping his way back to her. He trails his fingers along her shoulders, coming to sit down beside her. Way too close, but she’s already shoved back against the arm of the couch and there’s no moving away. 

“Look. Isn’t it pretty?” 

Kai blinks real slow. Swallowing thickly as she struggles to keep her gaze settled on the necklace he’s holding up for her scrutiny. 

It’s not  _ her  _ necklace. She hasn’t seen that one since he stole it off her. A part of her is afraid that he simply tossed it. This new jewelry lacks creativity, just the project's starburst emblem on a string. 

“Here, let me.” He leans forward, looping it over her head so it settles on her collarbone. The weight is familiar, having something resting on her chest, but it’s all wrong. “Gorgeous.” He cups her cheek, thumb skirting across her skin. 

She shifts uneasily, anger building up inside her at the replacement. He’s not exactly being subtle with his methods. So blatantly trying to push Vaas out of her head, her heart, to make room for himself. 

Kai tucks that rage away for later for when it’ll be useful. 

“John.”

“Hm?” He trails his finger down to her jaw, across the thin skin of her throat. Holding her, not choking. 

“I’m tired.”

He perks up, nodding quickly. “Of course you are. Let me show you our room, you can sleep.” He smiles wide as his next statement. “We’ll pick up the rest of your atonement later.” He sighs airly, “I truly am glad you’re going through the steps to join Eden’s Gate. I’ve been waiting for so long. And now you’re so close to being accepted.”

She narrows her eyes as he takes her hand and guides her up the stairs. “I thought we were done.”

He shakes his head. “No. Almost, but not yet. You’ve revealed your sin but now we must purge it. Understand?”

Kai doesn’t trust her voice so she just nods. 

His bed is comfortable at least. Warm too, and the pajamas he lends her are soft on her battered skin. 

John, despite not being tired so early in the morning, slips in beside her. Keeping some distance between them. 

She wants to ask him a hundred things. Most notably how long he had been planning this, that seems important, to know if the end goal had always been her and him standing beside each other, not wanting the other dead. Because with every fiber of her being does she want the man lying beside her to drop off the face of the earth. 

More than anything she wants him to take back what he said. It gnaws at her until she can’t drift off to sleep at all. 

“John.”

He hums, eyes slowly peeking open. 

“Vaas isn’t really dead.” 

He sighs, all drawn out and tired. He scoots in closer to her, a hand coming to rest on the curve of her waist. 

“Darling—“

“I told you what happened. How I pushed him into the water.” She bites her lip, anxiety curling in her stomach when he stays quiet. “He’s alive.”

“I did my research well. Checked again and again and came up with the same results. I’m sorry, my dear.”

Kai shakes her head sharply. An action which makes John grit his teeth.

“He is!” John presses, fingers tightening on her hips. “You have to let go and just accept that. I mean, it’s been six years, Kai, you’ve had time to grieve.”

Softly she whispers, “there’s nothing to grieve about,” and she rolls over. Curling up as she draws her knees up to her chest. He follows, pressing closely into her body and fitting there as if they’re lovers.

Kai somehow manages to fall asleep. Or she thinks she does, because when she opens her eyes next the sun is lower in the sky. Casting a hue of golden light through the room. 

John is quite literally breathing down her neck. Soft puffs of air ghosting across her skin, heavy and even with sleep. Carefully, so as not to wake him, she picks up his arm from around her waist and moves it to lay on his chest.

He stirs in his sleep, squirming on the bedsheets restlessly at the loss of contact.

Kai stands slowly, wincing and pausing at every noise the bed makes as she stands up. Her feet are naked, and the wooden floor is cool on her aching soles. She powers through the discomfort, tiptoeing over to the door to nudge it open and step out into the hallway. 

A small part of her toys with the idea of killing John, but that's just a fleeting feeling of anger. She knows she’ll be in a worse position if she touches a hair on his head. He’s an important member in Eden’s Gate, she’ll have dozens of people on her ass if she hurts him. 

She wouldn’t make it out of the county, and at this point that’s her end goal. To get to a different state, anywhere else but here. 

If she bides her time in a couple weeks she’ll be well rested enough to run to the edge of the county. It can’t be that hard. 

Kai hits the main floor, creeping over to the kitchen to turn the sink on. Water, cool and refreshing, chugs out in spurts. She tips her head and drinks straight from the tap. When she pulls back she closes her eyes, leaning heavily against the counter to center herself. 

“Christ, hasn’t he been taking care of you?”

Kai, despite all she’s been through, fucking screams. Spins on her heel and practically hops up onto the counter to escape the 6 foot something man standing before her. 

He keeps going, a half smile hanging around his lips. “Drinking like a girl on her deathbed.” 

She digs into her memory, searches the depths of her brain until something lights up. Yeah, she recognizes him, she’s seen him before. Back when she met Faith in that field, he was there, talking to John. Then again, this morning. She never got a name out of him. 

“Hi,” she gives a slight wave, playing meek for now. If he had wanted to sneak up on her and harm her, he could’ve, she’ll keep that in mind. 

He snorts, either amused or annoyed, she can’t tell. “It’s Kai, isn’t it? My brother's new project.”

Her brow wrinkles, “your brother’s new…” her heart stutters in her chest nervously, “He’s done this before?”

The redhead shrugs, “sort of. Nothing this extreme. Bringing someone in his home to sleep in his bed. Saying he’s gonna marry that someone. Yeah that’s new, I suppose, if you wanna feel special.”

Kai is shaking. She doesn’t want to feel anything right now. She wants to sleep for a hundred years. 

He moves further into the kitchen, opening the fridge, “you hungry, kid?” 

Kid. The term isn’t as endearing as  _ tigre _ or  _ darling,  _ it’s not meant to be. Kai likes it. It’s a welcome change. 

“Yes.” 

He fixes them something quick, placing a bowl of what looks like soup down in front of her. She eats slowly, standing at the counter and eyeing him as he takes a seat at the table. 

“What’s your name?”

“Jacob.” 

She nods, swallowing the hot food. “You and John are...friends?” 

“I’m his brother. Surprised you didn’t know that already.”

Kai shrugs, she doesn’t want to know anything about John. 

She catches Jacob staring at her chest—her new necklace—and can’t resist the urge to ask. 

“Do you know what John did with my necklace?”

Jacob pauses, raising an eyebrow. “I'm not my brother’s keeper. I dunno what he does with all the shit he confiscates.”

“If you had to guess though…”

He shrugs, “probably in his bunker. Though the stuff I take, I just throw away. He could’ve done the same.”

Kai feels her heart clench. She wants to cry, but she refuses to do so in front of this stranger. Instead she palms at her eyes with the heel of her hand, stopping them before they come. 

Her mouth opens and no sound comes out for a few seconds until she can finally settle on her words. 

“Do you think you could look for me?”

He hums, but she isn’t sure how she’s supposed to take that. 

“You’re his brother. I bet he’ll even give it to you if you asked.” 

He nods. “Vaas gave it to you,” he says in a way that makes it clear that it’s not a question at all. “Before or after you made him disappear?”

“After. And he didn’t give it to me...I...I took it from him,” she admits, though she isn’t sure why. She lied her way through John’s interrogation, but standing here with this man...the truth sort of just slipped out. 

She wants to pull it back inside but it’s too late, she caught Jacob’s attention now. 

“That so?”

Kai is quiet. Keeping her eyes on her food. It’s steaming, smoke rising up, curling off of it. She spins the spoon around, causing a puff of heat to blow towards the sky. Warming her face. 

“Was he angry?”

“I think…” she hesitates, gnawing on her lip as she goes through her muddled thoughts. She can’t clear her head.  _ Something is wrong.  _ “I think he’d want me to have it.”

“Uh-huh.” Jacob stands up, walking over to lean on the counter and hover over her. “You think. Did you ask him? Could you?” 

Kai frowns, swaying on her feet as she gazes up at him. Her eyes trail along his body, his puffed out chest and hardened muscled arms. Too much like the past. She wants to leave. 

“Kai.” 

She closes her eyes, tries to focus on the blackness, but she feels faint. 

“Come on, focus for me.” He grabs the back of her neck and shakes her eyes open. “Why’re you so special? What the hell does my brother see?” 

Kai has a feeling he’s talking more to himself then her, but maybe that’s because it’s getting increasingly harder to think, let alone speak. 

She goes limp not long after, tumbling into his arms and drifting off someplace inside her head. 

.0.

Jacob’s cages are made of metal that are surprisingly shiny. The spaces are just big enough for her to shove her hands between if she wanted to. The ground is cool beneath her, and muddy, dirtying her clothes more than they already were. Shame, she had a feeling things were looking up. That living in John’s ranch if all places would make her feel a little more human now that she was no longer below ground. 

She’s got a cage all to herself which is nice, she’ll have to thank Jacob for that if he ever decides to show his face. Because in comparison to the cages around her—which are stupidly cramped—she’s lucky. 

Or different. 

Probably the latter. John at least seems to think so. Different enough to not be able to fit in with the rest of society but similar enough to compare to the monster John is. 

Her mouth is dry, stomach growling with the beginning of hunger. She doesn’t know how long she’s been here, she’s afraid to ask quite frankly. She distantly wonders if John is looking for her. 

The sun is in the middle of the sky when she wakes, and by the time Jacob shows up it's dark. The only form of light coming from fires billowing up from metal bins. Stupid, she thinks distantly, for a place so advanced. They’re not in a jungle for Christ sake. 

“You’re awake, should’ve called for me.” He crouches down, hands grasping the bars just above where hers are resting. 

“Didn’t think you’d come,” she says with a shrug. That, and she figured talking to the men with guns looking like they’d rather be anywhere else but here would be a sure fire way to get shot. 

He hums, turning to glance over his shoulder to raise his hand out. Someone steps out of the shadows, one of his own, to hand off a flask and a plate of something she doesn’t get a good look of. 

“Thirsty?”

“Yes.” 

His lip twitches, maybe he thought she’d be above that. Like she’d have more pride. He seems the type to enjoy breaking people. The caged people gave it away. 

He hands it over and watches her take small sips before offering up a plate of food. She scoffs. 

“Is that drugged too?” 

Jacob’s lip curl up in a lopsided grin. “No. What’d be the point in that?”

“What was the point last time?” She argues, tossing the flash back at him. “Why am I here?” She frowns, glancing up over his shoulder to get a good look at the building towering behind him. “What is this place?”

“Which one should I answer first?” 

Kai feels annoyance bubble up inside her. An anger she hasn’t felt since she was trapped with John and his endless preaching. 

Wrath suddenly makes a lot of sense. 

She falls back on her butt, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away. She’s pouting like a child, she’s aware of that, but she can’t bring herself to care. She’s too tired for this shit. 

Jacob sighs, kneeling closer to her as he starts talking. “You know we all heard, my siblings and I, a lot about you. Ever since you came here and John got you done into his bunker…” Jacob laughs and lets out a low whistle that makes her jump. “He kept on talking about you. Wouldn’t shut the fuck up, he was driving me insane. You’re no one special, honey.”

The way he says it almost sounds like it’s supposed to be an insult. As if she thought she was hot shit and flaunted it. 

“But I love my brother, and I wouldn’t mind helping him if it means he’ll be happy. And you,” he jams a finger in her direction, “you make him so fucking happy.” He pauses, standing up with a sigh. “My brother insisted on keeping you away from the bliss. After what happened last time...” he shakes his head, “you bounced right back though, so I don’t see the fuss. If anything John learned a lot about you after your little trip. It was useful, so why can we do it again?”

She’s almost positive that it’s meant to be a rhetorical question, so she keeps her lips sealed. He doesn’t seem to mind her lack of a response. 

“John is infatuated with you, if you haven’t noticed. Keeping himself up at night trying to figure out where you came from. Like that’ll do anything. I dunno what his plan is exactly once he figures it out. I guess secrets don’t lie well with him.” Jacob stretches his arms back, puffing his chest out. “We’re gonna try and pull something out of you so he can stop worrying. You’ll be back with John soon,” he adds, as if she cares about that at all. 

She wants to leave this county, find a nice IHOP or Denny’s, go into a 7/11 for some junk food and stay the night at a cheap motel for a hot shower. 

Instead Jacob thinks she’s worrying about seeing John again. She sighs, slumping back against the bars of the cage as Jacob enters, a hand resting on his pistol. She isn’t going to try anything, she just wants this to be over and done with. 

The bliss wasn’t too bad before. Not really. Sure, she saw  _ him  _ for the first time in 6 years, if she didn’t count all her dreams in that time span, but she lived through it. Maybe this time she won’t turn tail and run, she thinks, just as Jacob leans down and smears a hand coated in powder along the underside of her nose. Maybe this is a blessing and she can take some to talk to Vaas. She really does miss him. 


	11. Time Goes On

Jason is gone.

He’s been gone for months now. Escaped god only knows how, so the good news she and Vaas were meant to deliver to Hoyt was short lived. 

For a while Kai worries that’ll be the end of her, Hoyt will find someone to sell her or Vaas will insist that he’s not playing games any more and that he wants her gone. 

But it seems like the little time they spent hunting Jason, the near death experience of him almost tossing her off a cliff actually made his heart grow fonder. It sparked something inside him to want to keep her around. 

Or maybe, and this is the thought that keeps her up at night, maybe he’s only trying to fill the void Jason created when he disappeared. She’s nothing more than a replacement for the toy he lost. 

It shouldn’t matter, so long as she’s alive, but it bothers her. Even if he promises that she’s his now. He says that he won’t get rid of her. That her and him will rule the island and everything on it. 

“Including Jason, when we find that fucker. Do you think he left somehow? Imagine that, god that would be fucked up. White boy doesn’t deserve to go back home to his cushy life.” He pulls a long toke of the cigarette held perilously between his lips. Holding it out to offer it to her. 

She accepts it just to see him smile when she draws in the smoke and doesn’t cough. He doesn’t smile at her often—not a real smile anyway. 

“Come here, hermana, sit.” He pats his lap, taking the cigarette back as she perches on his knee. “We’ll find him. Don’t look so worried.” He pecks her lips, laughing when she tries to deepen it. The kiss is nothing like the first one they shared, the one Jason had to bear witness to.

Her cheeks burn red and she looks away. He winds an arm around her waist. 

“What’s with the long face? Hm? All because I won’t kiss you?” He scoffs, shoving her off his lap with a wave of his hand. “Fuck off somewhere else. M’fucking tired.”

Kai wants to yell at him, she wants to ask why he’s being so cold. But it doesn’t seem like the right time. It never is. 

.0.

It’s been three fucking years. 

Kai is tanner than she’s ever been. Leaner too, toned in a way she could only ever dream of. Her hair is longer, curling down towards the center of her back. Vaas likes the changes, calls her sexy as he grabs her hips from behind and kisses her neck. 

That’s one thing that took some getting used to. His need for the touch of another. Didn’t take long for her to figure out that was yet another vice of his. All the sex he craved. Strange how she never noticed it before. He’d come back home smelling of it, towards the beginning, maybe a year in, he'd even return with a prostitute hanging off his arm, his pupils dilated with whatever he’d taken earlier that day. 

It was like that, right before he’d disappeared to the bedroom, that he caught sight of her lingering by the fridge. 

“Kai, you look… _ tensa _ .”

She frowns, she doesn’t know that word. 

“Here.” He digs into his pocket. Cash falling out as he brings his hand back up to show off what had been in his pants. “Coke? Heroin? Might have some meth around here, hang on.” He rushes forward, opening and closing cabinets and drawer until he finds what he was looking for. He lays the drugs down on the counter, smiling down at her. “Go loco, amor.” 

She hadn’t taken a thing, mostly because she didn’t know how. Outside of the times Vaas smeared the inside of her mouth with powder she’s never taken drugs. And she doesn’t trust herself not to choke on her own vomit while unsupervised. 

Instead she settles down on the couch. Listening to Vaas fuck the whore he brought home. It became an almost weekly event. And he’d always be high whenever he did them—which sounds dangerous. On a good day Vaas is a scary motherucker apt to stab you if you don’t do something he likes, but him high off his ass? She tries to avoid him then. 

Not like he makes it easy. After he’s done with his most recent conquest he comes stumbling out, usually half dressed without a shirt or pants—sometimes both only in his boxers—he falls down beside her. 

He likes to watch her squirm, he said so himself. 

“I bet you’d be a nice fuck, hermana.” 

Her whole body seizes up, eyes blowing wide as she gazes at him. It’d be so easy to give into his wandering hands. Someway to lose herself just for a little while, a way to forget that she’s trapped with a man who might be plotting her death at every moment of the day. All she has to do is ask for death and he’ll deliver it personally. 

She’s not dumb, she knows he doesn’t like her. But at night when he curls a large forearm around her middle as they sleep, keeping her held in his grasp like a bear protecting his kill, she can pretend that they’re something more than what they are.

His fuse grows shorter as time goes on. He’s quick to anger, she’s wearing on him. She has to learn quick or she won’t last much longer. It’s all made worse because they can’t find Jason. But he wouldn’t just leave his friends, would he? 

Kai can’t be sure anymore. Three years is a long time. 

And slowly with that time, she forgets about Jason. It’s nothing more than a distant memory, and to Vaas it’s a blip on the radar, a simple business mistake. Though whenever a boat washes up on the island Vaas is quick to grab her hand and rush there, scanning each face paraded before him. 

He doesn’t say it aloud, but she can see it in his eyes. He’s still looking for Snow White. 

It’s a bit of an unhealthy obsession, but Kai leaves it be. She doesn’t want to die here. 

.0.

“Huh, almost forgot I wasn’t wearing it anymore. Why are you giving this back to me?”

Kai makes a distracted noise, more focused on the task in front of her to answer him. Not like it matters, he doesn’t need to be more specific for her to know what he’s talking about.

“Fuck, I don’t even remember why I gave you my necklace in the first place but—”

She snorts, the sound cutting him off. He glares at her. She tries to hold down her anxiety, he can sniff that shit out like a shark and blood in the water. 

She glances over her shoulder at him, pushing the shovel into the ground beside the hole she’s filling, wiping away the sweat on her forehead. “You were about to carve your name into my back.”

“Ahh.” He nods his head slowly, rubbing the facial hair on his chin in thought. “Yeah, I was about to do that.” He tips his head in thought, “couldn’t do it back then, because I was supposed to sell you.”

She swallows, looking away. “You said you wanted me to remember that I hate you.”

He stares at her for a second longer before recognition lights up in his eyes and he snaps his fingers. “Right! Right! I did say that.” He purses his lips, looping the necklace around her throat. “I think it stopped working.”

She hums, she doesn’t want to give him any ideas. 

“I’ll do it when we get home.”

“Why?” She picks the shovel back up, tries to tune out the sound of the man yelling for mercy as she fills the hole higher and higher with sand. 

“Why? Because I fucking said so, that’s why.” He shakes his head, going to sit down on a large rock big enough to lie down on. “God, since when do you question what I said? Puta.” He spits the word out, shaking his head. “You’ve been here too long. Gotten comfortable, huh?”

She shrugs. 

“Yeah. You have. I think you’ve given up.” He pauses, and she looks back at him to elaborate. He does so gladly. “You used to want me dead. Guess you just really want to be my bitch, huh, chica?” He laughs when she cringes. “You almost done?”

Kai nods, tossing the shovel away like it’s burnt her skin. She drags her feet until she’s close enough to fall back on the rock he’s sat atop of. It’s burning hot to the touch, but she endures it. 

“I’ll do it here, actually, turn around, away from me.” 

She looks at him with large eyes and she just shakes his head. 

“That shit isn’t going to work with me. Not right now, at least. Come on, I’ve got good penmanship, turn around.” 

It’d be stupid to make him ask again, but she does. He’s right, she has grown comfortable. She hasn’t felt real, gut wrenching fear for him in so long. 

When he’s done she’s crying. It hurts so bad, but she doesn’t voice her complaint. He wipes her tears away with his thumb, bandages catching on her skin. 

“It looks good on you.” He smiles wide at her, a hand encircling her wrist. “Cross my heart.” He laughs, standing up and pulling her to her feet. “Come on, let's go see the doc before that shit gets infected.” 

.0. 

“Hoyt is proud of you, y’know. He told me so.”

She huffs, head flopping back onto the pillow beneath her. “Can we not talk about your boss when I’m under you?” 

Vaas laughs, leaning down to nuzzle into her pulse point. “ _ Our _ boss, chica. He wants to make you a powerful little lady around here.” He lays his hand down on her naked stomach, squeezing her skin. “Not sure about that, really, but how’s it feel for him to take notice?” 

He kisses her with teeth when she doesn’t respond—she doesn’t know how. He bites her lip until she bites back. Teeth clacking against each other. He laughs again, a good thing, for him to be in such a good mood. 

He moves down, nipping at her neck and lower until he’s mouthing over her breasts.

Almost all his weight is bared down on top of her as he sucks a nipple into his mouth. The initial sensation is nice, she can count on one hand how many times he’s pulled that move, but the feeling of him crushing her drags her wound across the sheets. 

She hisses, back arching up as she scrambles to get her hands between them to push him back. Her skin still hurts where he carved his name into her. Every time she feels it, and he makes sure that’s often, it’s a reminder alright, he got his point across. 

She hates him. She does.

She isn’t sure why she lost sight of that. 

Kai tries to scramble away, he’s going to fuck her but she’ll be damned if she doesn’t fight back a little just to make his life harder. But he’s stronger than her, always has been, and so her efforts don’t do much besides excite him. 

“This get you hard, Vaas?” She snaps, legs wrapping around his waist to grind up, “me fighting back?”

“No shit, chica. You should’ve been a detective.” He chuckles at his own joke, taking her wrists in one large hand to pin down above her head. “What’s the point if they don’t fight back, y’know? If I wanted someone to just lie there I’d fuck a corpse, right?”

She pulls a face, makes a disgusted noise in her throat that has him pausing. 

“I’m serious, I want something that moves a little, hermana. Not a passive observer who just sits there and takes it, that’s no fun, and I want to have fun, so let’s go. Before I toss you outside and fuck my fist instead.” 

Vaas isn’t naked like she is, and it makes her oddly self conscious. She’s shaking under his gaze, tilting her head away from him. And that’s not allowed at all. He grabs her chin, dirty nails digging into her skin as he forces her head back around. 

“Baby girl, don’t be like that. I know I get your pussy wet.”

She shakes her head, heels digging harder into his hips where they’re spun around him. 

“No? Let's check.” He takes two of his fingers and plunges them inside her. Easy with the way she’s spread. He twists them around and beckons them up, pushing on a spot inside her that causes her to moan wantonly like one of the cheap whores he brings home. 

“Aha! Look at that, I found your pussy trigger!” 

He lets go of her wrists, holding onto her throat instead. Not choking, just holding. 

They’ve done this song and dance only a handful of times before, and yet she knows why he gave her hands back to her. To fight and scratch and pull. Kai has never asked him personally, but she doesn’t think he wants to rape someone per se. He doesn’t want crying and sniveling, he doesn’t want someone to plead for him to stop. He just likes the control. He wants her to get off so he can gloat about it later. He wants her to beg him for it and  _ mean _ it. 

His fingers come out with a nasty sound, leaving her feeling painfully stretched. 

“Let me ask you something,” he mumbles as he pulls his cock out of his cargo pants, “do you still want to live? It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you fight me because you want to live. Do you think I should just kill you now? Find another pretty doll to fuck?” 

He takes his cock in hand and slides it up and down her folds, focusing on her clit hidden under her hood. He taps at the bundle of her nerves with his head, relishing in the way her teeth clench and she grabs a hold of the nape of his neck. 

“I hate you,” she mutters, and she almost believes herself when she says it. He makes her feelings muddle up together until she’s beyond confused what she’s supposed to feel for him. 

“You’ve got a funny way of showing it, tigre.” He sinks into her before she has a chance to argue. Watching her face twist with the stretch. He reaches behind him, pulling a knife out of nowhere that’s suddenly pressed to her throat. He thrusts forward, jostling the whole bed, making the blade knick her skin. 

She groans, eyes closing with the twang of pleasure that shoots down low in her gut. 

“You’re so fucked in the head,” he smiles. 

“And you’re not?”

“You’re the one getting dripping wet because you’ve got a knife to your throat.” 

Kai whimpers on his next harsh pumps, she can’t deny his words, and that makes it worse. That he’s right.

“Do you still dream about leaving?” He leans in, lays a kiss right above where he’s holding the knife. “Huh?”

“S-sometimes.”

He laughs, pinching her clit and rolling it in his fingers. He watches with fascination as his cock slides in and out of her cunt. 

“Of course you do, hermana, but let me tell you how fucking stupid that is. A pipedream. Even if you ever got back home you wouldn’t last a day. This jungle changed you. You’re different now, you can’t ever go back.” 

Kai hates it, she hates him, those old feelings resurface so suddenly and with such conviction that she nearly cries. 

He’s right. She does want him dead. Somewhere along the line she lost sight of that, he made her his little house pet and she fooled herself into thinking they were something special. 

She wants to fucking kill him. 

But just a few seconds ago, hadn’t she loved him? 

She’s not sure of anything anymore. 

.0.

Six years is a long time for anything, Vaas makes the time go by faster. He can’t, however, take away how she feels when she thinks about all the time that has passed. 

She feels old. She’s not, Vaas is certainly older than her, but six years on Rook island has aged her. She doesn’t want to say Vaas has changed, that wouldn’t make sense considering just how long he’s been here, but something is different. 

He won’t tell her what. 

They’ve been riding a high for years, ever since Jason up and left, they were  _ good.  _ She loves him and he, in turn, loves her. (She thinks he does. He has to, right? Despite how he yells at her and hits her, how he jokes about killing her just to put her out of her misery) Otherwise he wouldn’t have kept her around as long as he had, he wouldn’t take her to bed and on rare occasions let her boss his men around. 

So what has changed? 

Kai shouldn’t be so suspicious of him, but when he comes home with wild eyes and a bloody hatchet in his hand, she has to say something. 

“Vaas?”

“Don’t fucking ask!” He jabs a finger in her direction, “just leave me be for one second.” He tosses the hatchet on the kitchen table and she has to suppress the urge to yell at him. He knows how to be sweet but he has his moments where he’s bound to attack anyone nearby that gets in his way. 

Sometimes she needs to be reminded of her place. Even after all the power he’s granted her, she’ll always be under him. 

And so she quietly cleans up the blood he tracked in. Listening as he breaks things in the other room. Then he’s talking to someone on the phone, voice rising steadily to the point where she starts to get worried. 

Kai throws the now ruined, bloody dishrag into the sink, stalking off to the bedroom when he’s quiet once more. 

He’s sat on the edge of the bed. Head in his hands as his chest rises and falls sporadically. 

This time around she doesn’t speak, she knows better. She climbs on the bed, behind him, sliding her arms around his torso as she presses her body to his. 

She takes his head, pulling until his relents and lays his head against her shoulder. With his neck bared she runs her nails across the thin skin of his throat. Then up, towards the shaved part of his head. 

He hums. Sighing when she kisses his forehead. “That’s nice, hermana. Keep going.” 

“You’re stressed,” she mumbles, drawing nonsensical patterns across his skin. “Wanna tell me what happened?”

She holds her breath, ready for him to go off on her. He just sighs though, eyes cracking open to look up at her. 

“One of my men called me. Jarvis.”

She nods, tries to search back in her head for the name but comes up empty. 

“There’s a new shipment that we have to deal with. A boat we managed to snag when it got too close.”

Nothing new, she thinks but doesn’t say. And when he falls into a lapse of silence, biting his lower lip, she urges him to lie down fully. With a groan he drags his legs up onto the bed, falling back on the pillows. 

She moves down his body to take off his shoes, pushing her thumbs into the soles of his feet. 

That startles a gasp turned moan out of him as he stretches like a cat. 

“Why haven't you treated me like this before?”

“You never seemed to need it.” She crawls up his body, lays a kiss right above his knee. “You’re so strong.”

“Yeah well,” he cracks open an eye, reaching out to tug her to lie on top of him. “Everyone has rough days. And I’ve had a very bad fucking day.” He moves his hands down and cups her ass. Squeezing her cheeks appreciatively before drawing back and giving it a playful slap. 

“Gotta say you’re making it better.” He eyes her suspiciously, “though you never jump all over me like this. What’s your angle? Planning something?”

She hums, tapping his jaw as he ignores his question. He’s right though. She’s never this bold in when something concerns him. Fuck it. Right now she’d do just about anything to figure out why he’s been so tense and angry for the last few days. It can’t just be a shipment, but she’s getting there. 

“So, these people that came on the island, are they causing trouble?” She scoots up closer to him, kissing his cheek. “Can’t sell ‘em?”

“No. No that’s not it. It’s just…” he shakes his head, rubbing his eyes with a groan. “One of them ran away.”

She raises an eyebrow, “happened before,” she murmurs. “You’ll get them back.”

His eyes open up into slits. “That’s not the point. The point,” he gets up, shoving her off to the side as he leans up on his elbows to face her, “is that there must be a fucking ghost running around as well, or someone is spreading some stupid urban legends because now all I’m fucking hearing about is that Snow White is back, chica.” 

Her brain short circuits. “What?” 

He tosses a leg over hers, drawing her in near so he can brush his nose with hers. “My reaction exactly. Now you see why I’m a little bit stressed. I don’t have time to deal with rumors.”

“But...but what if it’s not a rumor?” Her voice shakes. She doesn’t want to believe it. Vaas loves Jason, even she can see that, he’s obsessed with his Disney princess. And if Jason is back, the object of his affection, then where does that leave her?

With Jason back in the picture then how long would it take for Vaas to get bored of her?

Kai doesn’t want to find out. 

She might not have a choice. 


	12. The Truth Finally Slips Out

They’re supposed to be waiting for Jason to show his face. They very well could be cooped up on Vaas’ compound, with a roof over their head and an actual bed to lay on. But she has a feeling that Vaas is never one to do anything half assed—especially not this. 

So they’re outside in the middle of nowhere. 

Well, to be fair, it’s nowhere to  _ her.  _ She doesn’t go too far away from the place she now calls home, and so she still doesn’t know the island as well as Vaas does. The point being that he could probably point out several locations in a thirty mile radius. So no, it’s not the wilderness, even if they’re surrounded by nothing but trees and little creepy crawlies. 

On the third day of their camping adventure (putting a goofy name to it makes her more excited; joy), she starts to grow bored. Vaas is having fun, between the cocaine he divvies up between the two of them and the people that stumble along their path that he captures and toys with, he’s living the high life. 

She's worried though. 

Praying to God that the rumors are just that, rumors and nothing more. Jason isn’t here. There’s no reason for him to come back literal  _ years  _ later, all on his own. 

It just doesn’t make sense, and so over the course of those three days, she convinces herself that Jason isn’t here at all. Her and Vaas will go back home eventually when he tires of this waiting game or when Hoyt tells him to give it up and get back to work. 

Whichever comes first. 

Except she doesn’t want to take that chance. She can’t. She just can’t do it. She can’t lose Vaas. 

Kai ponders this, her legs swinging off the edge of a cliff they’re keeping to their back—one less direction they need to keep an eye on, Vaas had said—as the sun sets. Listening to the crackle of the fire roar away behind her. 

Vaas is whistling some tune, carving into a snake for dinner. It’s big. Should feed them for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow. 

She doesn’t look back at him as he moves about, still thinking things through. The plan in her head is haphazard. Made up only in a matter of days because that’s all the time she had. There are a lot of things that are bound to go wrong, but she doesn’t care. She’s crazy, properly so—textbook definition crazy—the jungle has made its home inside her and is now whispering in her ear. Telling her that she needs to do whatever it takes to knock some sense into Vaas. She has to show him the rage and possession that lives inside her, she has to let him know that he couldn’t ever possibly live without her. 

She’s shaking when he calls her name. Food done and ready. The smell is absolutely enticing. Her stomach growls and he sighs when she doesn’t move. 

“I’m not your fucking maid, come on, get your ass over here.”

Kai leans back on her palms, ignoring the tiny stones that dig into her skin. She glances over her shoulder at him. “Sit with me for a sec?”

He snorts, but gets up anyway from his crouched position. His gait is slow, face set into a neutral mask as he sits down. She leans against his shoulder, basking in the warmth of his skin. 

“It’s really pretty,” she mumbles to keep his attention. 

“And it’s all ours.” 

He sounds proud. He should. It’s a wonderful thing to own. 

She takes a hold of his hand, flipping it over so she can trace the lines on his palm. She feels him staring at her, a frown forming on his face. 

He puts his other hand on her forehead. “You feeling okay, chica? You’re not getting sick on me, are you? I’d hate to put you down.”

“I’m fine, Vaas, just...happy.” 

He quirks an eyebrow, like he has a million things to say to that. Maybe remind her that he—the pirate lord of Rook Island—is someone she’s supposed to fear, not love. She knows this. She can’t explain what’s going on in her brain. 

She likes the way he fucks her. Craves it. She likes how he kisses her at night and holds her in front of his men and the new captives who gaze on at her with pity. Fools. The lot of them. She’s never felt so lucky to be alive. 

Her stomach growls loudly and he huffs a short laugh. “Let’s eat, hm?” He stands and claps his hands together, gazing out across the horizon. “When we find Brody we’ll feast like kings!” He declares. “Come on,” he grabs her bicep and hauls her to her feet effortlessly. 

“Fucking cheer with me!” He gives her a shake, light and jesting though it still shakes her eyeballs in her skull, and howls, throwing back his head like a wild thing. Not really a cheer, but she doesn’t tell him that. 

Kai joins in, as loud as him. He shoots her a smile and sets off in another wolf-like howl.

He’s distracted. 

Never again will such a perfect opportunity present itself. 

She has to do it now. Before she gets cold feet—before she gets replaced by Vaas’ Snow White. 

She takes a step back, so she’s ever so slightly behind him. Her fingers reach out, extending in front of her. She’s almost touching his red tank top. Another step back. Another. She needs distance. Momentum. 

Kai charges at him. Shoving him in the center of his back. 

He was standing right on the edge. He didn’t stand a chance. He falls. Screaming. Kai turns away and covers her ears so she doesn’t hear him hit the ground of the rocky cavern. If she had, she might think for a moment he died. Which he won’t. He can’t. He’s Vaas. A silly little fall isn’t going to kill him. 

She goes over to the fire and starts to eat. She’ll give him a couple hours before he crawls out and comes back to her. Fuming mad but also with a raging hardon because she’s his little  _ tigre _ and no one could ever replace her. 

The snake is delicious, albeit a little bland, and for the fact that she can’t identify just what kind of snake it is—all her time spent in this jungle and she hasn’t learned much. Vaas is a terrible teacher. Probably because as of a few years ago he thought their time together was over. 

He had been ready to get rid of her. He was going to throw her into a pit full of dead bodies, other hapless, unfortunate people he killed in the same manner. 

Her lips twist into a smile around a mouthful of meat. Well she showed him, huh? 

She watches the sun go down, disappearing over a large scattering of hills. Maybe, if she gets lucky and Vaas isn’t  _ too  _ mad, when he comes up he’ll let them stay and watch the sunrise too. 

Speaking of which...it’s getting dark, cold too, the embers on the fire are all but gone and Vaas is nowhere to be found. 

She hasn’t even heard anything. No cursing, no gunfire to reveal his location and warn her that he’s coming for her, no crumbling rocks giving way to his weight as he climbs back up. 

Kai crawls over to the cliff, peering out at the steep edge. Not  _ that  _ steep. He’d be able to make it up. Meaning that she’d be able to make it down. Might be worth the trip, just to see him. They’ll laugh about it later, she’s sure. 

She considers it for a while, but it’d be easier in the daylight, so she goes to sleep by the dead remains of the fire to wait. 

.0.

Vaas...isn’t moving. 

He’s on the ground, his head tossed to the side and his leg bent at an odd angle.

He’s bloody. Got it all smeared across his front. There’s a dagger in his chest, sheathed down right to the hilt. 

“Vaas?” 

She looks around, tries to find  _ someone _ . Because a fall didn’t do this, certainly. 

“You…” her lips twist as she tapers off. Unsure what to say. 

Slowly she makes her way to him. Sitting down so she can lift his head up into her lap. He had said he liked her gentle touches. 

She runs her fingers through his mohawk, slightly matted with dirt and stale sweat. 

“You’re cold, Vaas.” She rubs down one of his arms, then up to his jaw. His facial hair is too long, he hates it like that. “You’re not okay, huh?”

Vaas is quiet. His eyes are open. Maybe he’s mad at her. She leans down to ghost her lips across his temple. 

She can wait, that’s okay. She’ll wait all her life if she has to. He can’t stay mad at her forever. 

.0.

It takes a whole extra day for Vaas to finally open up and talk to her again. There’s a lot of yelling, he didn’t like being pushed, that was scary and surprising, but he was proud of her. 

He calls her crafty and clever. 

“Vaas—“

“Should you still be calling me that?”

She leans back on her elbows, poking at bugs that crawl about. “What do you mean?”

“Am I still…me? I’m kinda not here. Not alive.” 

She looks at him— _ really _ looks at him—he’s nasty now. His flesh taut and pale. There are bugs digging into his skin and he’s starting to smell. 

“Hmm. I could call you...Not-Vaas.”

He snorts. But he’s smiling. He must be in a good mood today. 

“Very creative.”

She laughs. Her stomach rumbles. How long has it been? “Thank you.”

.0.

“You need to leave. Before they kill you. You’re  _ nothing  _ without me, hermana. They might even blame you.”

Kai nods, burying her head into her bent knees. She feels sick. She tries to throw up but nothing comes. 

“Are you listening? Fucking leave!” Not-Vaas yells at her. So loud and jarring she flinches. 

“Okay,” she whispers, because she wants nothing more than to make him happy. 

“Good...Good. Now go, before Snow comes back and finishes us both.”

Kai perks up at that. Finally settling her eyes back on him. He’s still nasty. All maggoty and gross. 

But he’s Vaas, just barely, so she’ll look at him. 

“Jason did this?”

“Who else?”

Right. Of course. 

She stands up. Her legs are shaking. It’s been a while, she hasn’t been keeping track of time. 

“I’ll kill him.”

Not-Vaas laughs at her. It’s cruel and sharp, but it makes her heart flutter all the same. “Sure, tigre, you go and do that. But at least  _ try  _ and make it on that damn boat.”

Kai smiles. Even in his state he’s trying to keep her safe. 

“I love you,” she says gently. He doesn’t respond, but that’s okay. She sees it in his eyes. 

He loves her too. 

“I’d kiss you. But the maggots…” she looks at him, tips her head and smiles, “eh, what the heck, c’mere.”

She has to go to him, Not-Vaas doesn’t move much. He doesn’t really put his all into the kiss, but it’s nice anyway. Even if he’s cold. 

“See ya later, Vaas.”

“Probably not.”

His words make her heart heavy, so she doesn’t dwell on it. She’ll come back at some point, like Jason did, and prove him wrong. 

*****

“You killed him.” Jacob laughs, it’s loud, shocking her out of the bliss world he threw her into. “Jesus Christ, Kai, that sure as hell isn't the story you told us.”

She’s crying. Sparkles are floating in her vision, she feels like she’s going to be sick. 

She tries to toss her head over to puke—but she can’t move that far. She’s tied down. To a bed to be exact. Her limbs are connected to the bedposts with chains. 

How long had she been out?

“Jacob?”

“You’re more heartless than I thought.”

“No.” She whispers it. Tears still making their way down her face. “No. I’m not. I  _ didn’t _ . He s-spoke to me. He was only hurt.” 

He clicks his tongue. Finally circling around to where she can see him. He’s standing over her. Hands on his hips. 

“You went kinda crazy down there I bet. All alone and full of guilt. Nothing but a dead body for company.” 

“I told you,  _ he’s not dead!” _

There’s nothing but pity in Jacob’s eyes. “I’m gonna call John to come pick you up.”

Her lids fall shut, she can’t breathe. “He’s not dead. He’s not.”

“Okay, Kai. Okay.” 


	13. Home Sweet Home

“She didn’t  _ technically  _ kill him.”

“John.” 

His younger brother isn’t looking at him. Suddenly more interested in the floors and then the dripping pipes above them. 

“That knife was from Jason—Hurk said he was a one man army. That he wanted Vaas dead for a long time. Kai didn’t do a thing wrong.”

“She pushed him,” Jacob points out. 

“But that didn’t  _ kill him.”  _

Jacob shakes his head. Moving to grab a seat. He has a feeling they’ll be here a while. Watching the camera feed that spans the Center while John tries to reconcile her past. 

Which is weird. Even Jacob can admit that. His brother has punished others for far less. He’s never turned a blind eye to a sin before, has always jumped at the chance to carve into someone’s skin so they can walk into Eden. 

That had been the goal this entire time.

So what gives?

Jacob leans forward, grabbing a hold of John’s arm to draw his attention. 

“If she hadn't pushed him, _injured_ _him_ , then maybe Vaas would’ve been strong enough to fight off the person who wanted him dead.” 

“...Maybe.” John’s lip tightens. He worries the pink skin between his teeth until Jacob winces at the way it splits open to a softer flesh that’ll grow sore and uncomfortable later on. 

“John?”

He barely reacts. He’s tracing the screen, as if he’s trying to find Kai. He won’t have any luck. She’s in Jacob’s office, and he doesn’t have cameras in there. 

“Do you love her?”

John pauses, and for a moment, when they lock eyes, Jacob sees a glimpse of that little toddler that used to cling to him and cry. 

He’s  _ scared.  _

“I think so,” he finally says. Whispers it so softly that Jacob thinks he imagined it. “I dunno. I’m not sure what that word even means. But...I like her company. I like how strong she is. I  _ want _ her.”

“But she belongs to Vaas.”

John laughs angrily, tossing up his hands as he stalks away from the monitors to pace the cramped room. “Yeah. Even in death that fucker has a hold over her.” He stops eventually, facing away from Jacob with his hands on his hips. 

His chest is heaving, breaths coming out choppy. Jacob wants to hug him—but he knows his baby brother would lash out. It’s just who he is now. And perhaps Kai could fix that. She might be able to patch John’s broken parts. 

At least that’s what John seems to think. 

“Can I see her?”

Jacob swallows, standing up. “Yeah. Yeah, of course, that’s why I called you.” 

John, to his credit, doesn’t immediately hound Kai. He lets her have her space, watching her from afar as she shakes on top of the cot he’s got pushed against the wall. 

He rocks on his heels, hands twirling m in front of him. It takes a while before he finally moves, but he does, he crouches down and tentatively reaches out to touch her exposed calf. 

Jacob expects her to flinch. To kick and scream. To yell or insist once more that she didn’t have a part in Vaas’ death. 

Any sort of reaction than the one she gives. 

Her head tips up and her lip twitches. Eyes wide as if seeing John for the first time in forever. 

“Hey,” he whispers. Smiling. Jacob can tell it’s forced. 

“Hi, John.”

His shoulders relax ever so slightly. 

“Can we go home?” 

John laughs, an airy thing that surprises Jacob. He won’t admit it right now, but he’s confused at the show he’s seeing. This man...isn’t his brother. Or...it is, but a different side. One Jacob has never been privy to seeing. 

He isn’t as guarded. He’s a little softer. As if he’s already let his walls come crashing down for this stranger who won’t accept him. 

Jacob doesn’t want his brother to get hurt. Not by someone whose mind is already so fragile. 

This is a dangerous gamble. 

And yet Jacob steps aside when they pass. He sees them drive off in one of John’s trucks, both of them tucked away in the back seat. He lets them leave and he can’t help but wonder if that’ll be the last time he sees his brother as the wrathful, terrifying creature he’s always been. 

.0.

John says he has a gift for her and her hackles raise instinctively. 

“Stay there, it’ll only take a moment.” Then he’s dashing off. Taking the stairs two at a time—strangely excited. Less angry than she remembers him being. 

What happened to the crazy Baptist?

When he comes back down, cradling a small box in his hands she mumbles a soft, “John?” 

He hums, taking a seat beside her on the couch. He taps the lid with his index finger, raising an eyebrow at her to continue. 

“Don’t you...hate me?”

“Hate is a very strong word—“

Kai snorts, slumping back into the leather. 

He grabs her shoulder lightly with a frown. “I’m serious! I don’t hate many things at all, my dear. Especially not the people we bring into our flock.”

“A couple months ago I was just another sinner.”

He nods. No denying that. 

“Now you’re giving me gifts.”

John sighs. Handing her the box. She doesn’t open it right away and he starts talking fast. 

“It was always meant to be this way. God brought you to me. He delivered me an angel to save my soul. I knew it from the very moment I laid my eyes on you. Your sins will be absolved and cut free from your body, but I’ll give you time. It’s what He wants.”

“How would you know what He wants?” She looks at him with mirth, she’s teasing him. If it were anyone else he’d hit them. He clamps down on that urge and sighs noisily through his nose. 

“Joseph told me.”

“And Joseph talks to God?”

John nods and Kai shakes her head. This place is fucking crazy.

“Now open it.” 

She does so slowly, enjoying the way he squirms impatiently. 

It’s...a necklace. Not hers. Not nearly as haphazardly put together like a gemstone on a string. 

This one has an actual chain, holding up the shiny starburst belonging to Eden’s Gate. 

This is a cruel, cruel joke. But Kai knows better than to throw a fit. She’ll play along. She’s done it before. No big deal. 

She runs the pad of her thumb across it. Getting greasy fingerprints on it. 

“Here. Let me.” He takes it from her, lifting it out of the box to loop around her neck. 

It hangs down further than Vaas’ necklace, and it’s colder. It’s nice to have something around her neck again though. 

She glances up at him. He’s got this look on his face. As if he’s expecting something—she’d even call him eager. 

Shit. Right. 

“Thank you, John.”

He smiles then, so wide and bright she has to look away. She hates it here. She wants to leave. But he still has her necklace so she’s not leaving just yet. 

.0. 

Sleeping in John’s bed is a fucking _ dream come true.  _ Most days John has to pull her out of it, insisting that they can’t sleep forever. She begs to differ. She can tell that he likes waking up to someone beside him—that if she pushed a little bit then he’d be laying back down for just a few more blissful moments. 

She tries it one day. His alarm clock goes off, striking 5 am, and she groans when he rolls over. 

“C’mon,” the bed shifts as he gets up, and she squirms within the sheets to burrow deeper. “Gotta shower, Kai.” There’s a pause and she feels his eyes on her. 

“Kai.” He touches the small of her back through the blankets, stroking up and down her spine. “Please, not today, darling, we have a lot to do this morning.”

“Like what?” Comes her muffled reply. And success! The bed shifts as he sits back down. Perched on the edge instead of rushing off to get ready. It’s stealing her an extra minute or two. 

“Some people are stopping by that need to confess.” 

“How does that involve me?” She asks, but she already knows the answer. And she’s certain that John realizes what she’s doing. 

“Because I don’t exactly trust you to be left to your own devices.” 

He sighs, stops the nice petting across her back and instead grabs her shoulder to push her onto her back. He brushes hair out of her face, cupping her cheek. 

He’s always softest in the morning. It’s the best version of him. When he’s not bubbling with anger and annoyance. Right here, she isn’t waiting for him to snap at her. She doesn’t need to fight to survive. 

On mornings like this the lines between playing pretend and what she actually wants, start to blur. 

She has to remind herself that she can’t stay forever. Remember that she  _ hates _ him. 

“John?”

“Yes?”

She pouts at him, eyes going slightly soft to entice him. “Five more minutes?”

He laughs, head dipping forward to rest on her collarbone. “Should’ve seen that coming…” he lays a kiss to her skin that makes her shake. “Okay. Five more minutes.” 

.0.

John smokes. 

That shouldn’t surprise her, after all the shit he’s done he’s certainly proved that he isn’t as pious as his title makes him out to be. But she still pauses mid sentence as he reaches over into the bedside table to pull out a blunt. 

Weed then. Not nearly as dangerous as the drugs she’s been given in the past, but she doesn’t think that stuff is even circulating in Hope. 

He curls up further into the pillows, throwing an arm behind his head with a sigh. He takes a pull, the cherry flaring red. He notices her eyes on him and offers it up to her. 

She takes it. Getting high sounds wonderful. 

“How’d you get Vaas’ necklace?” He mumbles when she hands the blunt back. His eyes aren’t on her. “Did he give it to you?” 

“I took it off him. Down in the canyon before I left.” A flash of a dead body flickers behind her eyes when she blinks.  _ Not dead he’s not he’s fine just don’t think about it and it’ll all go away.  _ “Didn’t I tell you that?”

John shrugs. “Don’t know. I’m starting to lose track of your past.” He taps her skull with his knuckle. “I’m not sure how you keep it straight up there.” 

She doesn’t know either. She’s starting to feel crazy.

He twists to look at the clock beside him. Sighing. “8:00.” He glares at her when he turns back, “you’re showering with me.”

Kai laughs. She thinks he’s joking. 

He’s not.

Their company is expected in half an hour. Well whose fault is that? She wants to ask. She doesn’t. She values her life. Instead she drags her feet as he takes her hand and shoves her into the bathroom. 

He doesn’t waste any time stripping. As if she’s not there at all. Just a fly on the wall. She’s not though, she’s a person who is very much affected by the skin he bares. 

When he’s down to his boxer he looks over at her, raising his eyebrows. 

“You need a shower.” 

Kai nods. She does. She didn’t shower much back on Rook—and now the luxury makes her preen. She adores staying clean, she’ll have to thank John for letting her. For even trusting her. 

She pulls her shirt over her head and steps out of her leggings. Her hands are shaking, mind racing with too many thoughts. When did she become so soft? Vaas didn’t trust her for a while, but John? He’s so...eager. She lost her touch. 

John steps in the shower and holds out his hand impatiently, glaring at the water spraying onto the tiled floor. 

She takes his hand, squeezing his fingers hard enough for him to jerk away. 

He washes himself with a mechanical necessity. Keeping his back to her as he scrubs down. He’s moving fast. The Baptist doesn’t like being late. 

“Come here,” he snaps, grabbing her and forcing her under the spray. It’s hotter than it needs to be. Hot enough to make her yelp. John keeps her rooted in place though, nails digging into her biceps. “Fucking stop moving.” 

“I hate you,” she says automatically. And he laughs. 

“Okay.”

Her lip twitches. Hands curling into fists at her sides. “O-okay?” 

He nods. Damp hair hanging in his eyes. He doesn’t seem to care about her words, but maybe it’s because he doesn’t realize how much she means it. 

“Come on, we’re done. We’ve only got a few minutes before they get here.” He doesn’t wait for her to follow him out. He leaves her under the drizzling water as he wraps a towel around his waist and heads back into the bedroom. 

It’s not her fault that she hates him. Really. He’s just...not Vaas. He’s too different. Maybe if he were angrier—like he was when she was tied up below his bunker—perhaps she could learn to like him. 

Tears crowd her eyes at the thought. Her lids drop closed, trying to steady her breathing. She feels crazy sometimes, something she’d never dare tell anyone. There are days like today, when she can accept the fact that Vaas is dead, that she played a part in that by leading him straight into Jason’s hands. Hell, she could’ve prevented it if she went climbing down in that canyon earlier to check on him instead of going to sleep. 

But then there are days when she rejects all of that. When she imagines going back to Rook and finding him. 

She feels crazy.

She needs to find her necklace and get the fuck out of here. 

.0.

It’s nighttime, and just like she had been for the past week, she’s wandering around John’s ranch all alone in her nightgown. Searching. 

Keeping her footsteps light, slowly learning which stairs to hop over and which floorboards groan with the smallest amount of weight. 

She gets pretty good at it. 

But she can’t find her necklace. She starts to worry that he threw it away. The thought discourages her for a while, and she moves around like a ghost when daylight comes. John notices immediately, faux concern bubbling up.

Kai screams at him. Can’t he get angry? Can’t he hit her or pin her down? Show her that her behavior is annoying and unacceptable? 

Anything?

“No...no that’s not me anymore. You’re going to change me.” He sighs. Eyes closing. “This is a test, and if I fail God will punish me heavily.” His eyes open once more and he smiles. “I won’t get angry.” 

Bastard. She hates him. 

But he’s soft, he’s weak, and so she tries to trick him. Stupid, in hindsight, but at the time she thought it would work when she approached him just after dinner. He was cleaning the dishes, occasionally looking outside the window directly in front of him. Scanning his yard as if something will change. 

Kai touches his hip, fingers brushing over his jeans. The touch isn’t too affectionate, not enough to draw suspicion, but it gets his attention. 

“When are you going to mark me?”

His eyes narrow. Searching her soul. It takes everything in her not to squirm. “You want to be marked now? Most people avoid pain when they can. What’s the sudden rush, my dear?”

His tone is clipped and short. A warning she should heed, he had said he wouldn’t hurt her, but honestly she doubts that. Even so, that’s not a deterrent. She lives for the pain. Thrives off it. 

She’s hurt herself in the past trying to recreate the feelings Vaas planted inside her, but nothing worked. 

Kai shrugs. “The anticipation is making me nervous.” 

John’s gone back to scrubbing dishes. Lips pulled into a thin line. “You’re lying.”

“I’m not—“

“How about you tell me what you really want?”

She rocks back on her heels. Peering up at him from beneath her lashes. 

“Can I have my necklace back?”

The sudden punch—because it was a punch, closed fist and very fucking painful—sends her feeling back. Her spine collides with the island, catching her before she falls. 

John fixes that. He shakes his wet hands and stalks forward, grabbing her shoulders and slapping her. He grabs her throat and shoves her down to the wooden floor. Jabbing a finger at her. 

“You  _ have _ a necklace!  _ Greedy _ ! Stop fucking worrying about that old peice of shit you came here with. I’m getting sick of hearing about it. Of knowing you’re always thinking about it.” 

“John.”

The man standing over her, all tight muscles full of anger, goes stock still at the sound of his older brother’s voice. 

Kai turns her head gingerly until she catches sight of Joseph. He’s got a book folded under his arm, glasses hanging onto the front of his shirt and a thick jacket to protect from the chill of the night. 

That must’ve been who John had been looking for everytime he glanced out the window. 

“John, please tell me this isn’t what it looks like.”

Joseph glances between his brother and where she’s sprawled out on the floor. He winces at the sight of her and she very nearly snaps at him. She wants to tell him that it’s okay—that she’s never felt better. The rush of what John did, how he finally hurt her again—it was everything she’s ever wanted. 

“Joseph—“

He holds up his hand and stops John from talking. “No. No, never mind. There isn’t anything you can say right now that will make this situation better. Not even an apology. Just...go upstairs. I’ll be there in a moment and we can talk.”

John spares her one last glance before walking off. Leaving her and Joseph alone. 

She’s never been alone with him and her guard is up without thought. 

“My child—“

“I just want my necklace.” It’s the truth. She may as well say it. Even if she sounds like a broken record. She’s starting to annoy herself. 

Joseph gives her a tiny smile. “Ah, yes, I should’ve assumed so.” He crouches down beside her, a hand on her shoulder. She watches him with rapt attention as he puts his hand in his pocket and fishes something out. 

He holds it out for her to take. 

Oh. 

Her necklace. 

“Take it,” he mumbles, “I never agreed with John stealing this from you. It’s yours, my child, you may wear it.”

She grabs it without thought. Looping it back over her head. It feels good, the weight of it, the coolness of the gemstone. She smiles, a laugh bubbling up out of her as Joseph helps her stand. 

Perfect. She can leave now. 


	14. This Is The End

John trusts her, but at the same time he doesn’t. He’ll sleep beside her, shower with her, turn his back to her when she’s got a knife in her hand at the dinner table—but he won’t go anywhere without her following along behind him. There isn’t a moment where she’s left alone. 

He certainly doesn’t leave his men with her, only he is allowed to watch her. It makes escaping that much harder. But she's noticed a window of opportunity that’s bound to close if she doesn’t act quickly. He’s still shaken up over Joseph’s last visit and he’s being extra careful. So on certain occasions, when his family is around, he hardly pays her any mind. 

Good for her that he sees his siblings almost weekly. 

Even with all that being said she can’t just run, mostly because when John isn’t watching her, Jacob is. There’s something like distrust behind his cold expression, and she can’t quite figure out what the hell his problem is. 

She needs to leave. 

It’s nighttime—she always does terrible things when the moon comes out—when she gets up and heads out the back door. 

John is a fitful sleeper, his schedule differing so terribly that she can never track when would be the best time to leave. So she risks it. 

It had been easy to get off Rook island, there were boats and planes swinging around almost bimonthly. The Seeds have Hope County on lockdown. 

But staying is not an option. It never was. In her heart she always knew she would be going back one day, she tried to deny it, but a long time ago she made the jungle her bitch and she needs to return. 

Whether or not Vaas is there won’t matter in ten years or so. She has to live a little—without him. She laughs quietly as she creeps along the perimeter of John’s ranch, maybe she’ll reign over his pirates. Hell, will they even remember her? Will Hoyt? Buck? God, she’d give anything to see Buck again and show him how fucking strong she’s gotten. She’d mess his shit up. 

Later. She’ll focus on all of that later when she actually gets there—even if the thought of facing those men, if they’re still alive, makes her move faster.

In an ideal situation she’d know this land like the back of her hand. She’d be able to run off in any direction and find safety. A way out. Instead she's stuck. Crouched in the bushes by the driveway as she watches John's guards patrol the area. They aren’t very thorough. Probably bored out of their mind and ready to go home. 

It makes Kai feel safer staying where she is as she scours through her muddled thoughts. 

It takes all of five minutes for her to come up with a proper conclusion. She needs transport now. She can’t find it down the line—she has to get a car, a boat, anything. Even a helicopter would be great right now, despite the fact that she doesn’t know how to fly. 

Kai bets one of John’s cronies can fly. She’d put money on it. Waiting here for them to get into the air isn’t an option though, she has to push them along a little. Make them fly her someplace other than here. 

Kai makes her way silently through his yard, grabbing an abandoned pistol left on a crate by some forgetful guard, and keeps on moving. Right up until she finds John’s hanger. 

There’s a plane in it. Not the aircraft she was picturing, but if it gets her in the air then it works. 

Kai waits in the shadows. Pressed against the inner walls of the hanger. Listening close until she hears the unmistakable sound of footsteps. She waits until they pass her—makes extra sure there actually aren’t two people walking—and jumps out to grab them from behind. 

She moves fast, much too fast for them to get a handle of what she’s doing. It’s a blur of motion as Kai fits the pistol snug under her new hostage’s chin and drags him back with her, her forearm against his neck to keep him from squirming too much. 

He tries to get away, a slight gasp leaving his lips as she pulls him into the darkness and out of sight. 

It’s when he speaks that she realizes her mistake. 

“Kai, darling, I was wondering where you ran off to. I was just about to raise the alarm.”

“John…”

“What are you doing?” 

He doesn’t sound mad, just a little sleepy, still dressed in loose pajamas with tousled hair. His sheer lack of emotion angers her like nothing else ever has. 

“Leaving,” she murmurs curtly. Lips brushing the shell of his ear. “Going back to Rook Island if I can.” 

He sighs. Head tipping back—her gun follows—to rest on her shoulder. “I told you I’d take you.”

“That was before...everything. When you were trying to get information out of me. You’re a liar.”

“I’m not.” He turns his head as much as his can, his nose brushing against hers. “I’ll take you. C’mon, we can leave now, after we get dressed.”

Kai snorts, digging the metal of the gun harder into the thin skin of his throat. Resting on his adams apple. He struggles for breath for a second before she grants air back to him, relieving the pressure. 

She walks them towards his plane, eyes darting around wildly. “No. You don’t need to get changed to fly.” She shoves him forward, pointing the gun at him, “get in.” 

John is quiet throughout the whole ordeal. Climbing up inside his plane, helping her in with trembling hands and slotting himself behind the wheel. 

“Ready?” He whispers. 

She nods, holding the pistol close to his temple. 

He makes a quick call to his men, he’ll be going out for a bit, if his brothers call just tell them he’ll be back soon. 

Kai hopes that’s true—that she won’t have to kill him and they can eventually go their separate ways once he drops her off.

It’s when they’re out of Hope County good and proper that she finally talks. 

“How much fuel do we have?”

“Not enough to get to some remote island near Asia. This isn’t a commercial plane.” 

Kai nods. Angry at herself for not thinking ahead. She sort of jumped the gun, panicked when she realized it was John she had grabbed instead of one of his men. 

This had been a stupid idea. Now she’s going to get them both killed. She falls back into her seat, tapping the barrel against her jaw. 

He keeps his eyes on the air in front of them. Calm as can be despite how unhinged she must seem. 

“John?”

“Mhm?” 

“We should probably—“

The plane dips. The air around them vibrates and a brilliant flash illuminates from behind, back towards Hope county. 

Kai twists in her seat, ignores John’s slew of curses as he works on steadying the plane before they crash. 

“J-John?”

“What is it, Kai? What the fuck just happened?”

She struggles to focus on the mushroom cloud of red and orange that blooms upwards, it looks like a goddamn nuke went off. But that can’t be right…

Her breath catches in her throat as she puts two and two together. 

“I think it’s the Collapse, John.”

The plane swerves, making a quick change in course, going back the way they came. Kai can't argue with that. It’s a hell of a lot closer than Rook island. 

She’s shaking, fear making her throat go all dry. She trusts John as a pilot, but she can’t help the way she trembles as they get closer. 

They’re engulfed in flames soon enough. 

John’s fiddling with the radio, trying to reach someone, to figure out what the hell is going on—as it turns out John is the only one with his bunker key. 

People are dying in droves as they run to a locked metal door with no herald in sight. 

He curses again, slams his hands down on the wheel and ignores the shards of rocks that pop up off the mountains and pings on the side of the plane. 

He pushes the plane lower, just above the trees, ready to make a quick landing. 

They make it, miraculously. And John’s out in an instant, popping open the glass cage above them with his key in hand. 

He stumbles slightly, as the ground shakes, and a few run forward to help their Baptist. 

Kai gets out slower, hands singed on the heated exterior of the plane. She hops down and falls to her knees, watching behind a curtain of hair as John herds people inside, he lets loose a few greenish flares into the sky, and more people come running only moments after. 

She gets up slowly when he spots her, teeth gritted when she finally reaches him. 

He wants to leave the bunker open for longer, much longer than his men recommend, and it’s her that grabs him by his shirt and throws him inside. 

His guards close the doors, lock it up tight and all breathe a sigh of relief. 

She’s shaking. Staring at John’s half slumped over form against the wall. 

“Kai?”

It’s gone. All gone. Jesus Christ, this can’t be happening. 

“Kai, it’s okay. Come here.” 

He wraps her up in his arms and she screams at him. Lashes out with sharp claws and bites to his hand and arm. Nothing shakes him. 

He wrestles her to the floor, a hand planted on her throat and the other resting by her head, and he laughs. A manic gleam on his ashen features. 

“Look what you’ve done,” he chuckles, “look at the carnage you’ve wrought upon us all. I knew there was something special about you.”

She bucks her hips up, trying to dislodge him, but he’s so much stronger than her. 

“You’re blaming me?!”

“I am.” He leans in closer and she flinches her head to the side at the smell of his breath. He thinks it’s from fear though, and he laughs once more. “You tried to leave me, my dear, and God saw to it that such a thing wouldn’t happen.” He kisses her then, captures her lips in such a way that it makes her head spin. 

“Looks like you’re finally mine.” His hips grind down, against her crotch. 

She catches sight of his men lingering, awaiting orders so quickly after the Collapse. 

“We have seven years for you to learn to love me.” Another press on the front of her jeans, and now she feels that he’s half hard. “Seven years for you to forget all about  _ Vaas.  _ Let’s go, my dear, let’s start anew.”


End file.
